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#1 bh2601

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Posted 09 December 2013 - 01:36 PM

So my husband and I haven't been successful in making things work.  We are currently at the end of our marriage where we are living apart and he wants me to sign the final divorce papers.  I was just diagnosed a week and a half ago - had no idea I was so tired all the time.  I have tried to talk to him about the diagnosis and how much of my life Narcolepsy has affected and he says i'm just making excuses.  I know it's not an excuse, but it definitely adds to my state of mind and energy levels.  How do you all get through to the non-believers?



#2 Kimpossible

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Posted 09 December 2013 - 02:43 PM

What a misery.  It never fails that bad things always happen in groups.  But, the diagnosis is a good thing.  And maybe the divorce is too.

Sometimes, in life, we are given chances to start over.  We may not want to, but it can be a good thing that we only realize upon looking back.  

 

Time is the answer to your question.  

 

It feels awful and it probably feels like the end of everything.  But time will make things easier and clearer.  

And also this website (no joke).  I found great comfort in reading and writing about this horrible disease.  I don't know anyone in real life who has narcolepsy, so this website helped me immensely.  It helped me understand the effects of the disease, the drugs (and side effects) I started taking, and the toll it can take on relationships.

 

I obviously don't know the circumstances of your divorce, but writing a letter has always helped me.  After you write it, wait a day or two, read it and then decide if you want to send it.

 

Hope some of that helps...



#3 Hank

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Posted 09 December 2013 - 07:59 PM

So my husband and I haven't been successful in making things work.  We are currently at the end of our marriage where we are living apart and he wants me to sign the final divorce papers.  I was just diagnosed a week and a half ago - had no idea I was so tired all the time.  I have tried to talk to him about the diagnosis and how much of my life Narcolepsy has affected and he says i'm just making excuses.  I know it's not an excuse, but it definitely adds to my state of mind and energy levels.  How do you all get through to the non-believers?

Great words of wisdom from Kimpossible.

 

How do you get through to non-believers- the unfortunate answer is that you cannot. Unless someone is interested enough to want to understand, they will not.

 

Understanding requires a level of interest and empathy. Without that, there is just no getting through.

 

The best you can do is to understand it yourself- and you are still learning that. You will, very soon, understand this with a quiet confidence so that it will no longer matter whether or not others understand. And then, suddenly, you will notice that more people understand. It has amazed me that the understanding has appeared after I needed it the most. Such is life.  

 

I hope you find happiness in or out of your marriage. You will be ok either way.

 

Consider reading a book called "When love must be tough" by James Dobson. It may not completely apply to your marriage situation, but there is a lot of sound, solid, pragmatic advice in it.



#4 ironhands

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Posted 09 December 2013 - 08:57 PM

Hank - you should write a book.



#5 bh2601

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Posted 12 December 2013 - 05:39 PM

Thanks everyone.  I did get the book.  Unfortunately it may be too late for my marriage :(.  But it's helpful to read regardless.  I know things will be OK, it's just not what i want!







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