my mslt = 2.18 min omset latency, 7 min rem latency. I trust I need not assert (as once I did after a presumption came across that perhaps no washout preceded my mslt)that all mslt protocols-2 week washout in particular-were present. if we could simply trade lives for 1 day, you wake up that day to find that you are me/vice versa, and that day was a day w/o meds, you likely would experience a bit of guilt for thinking I don't need my medicine.
what you'd do is lie there asleep w/ brief periods of foggy, lethargic pseudo-wakefulness in which you are fully aware of capabilities not had, but for the absence of the med. nightmares often accompany the bed's status thereunder as prison housing. on occasion, vivid ones reflecting imminent death in circumstances such as being instantly swarmed by thousands of bees. or a veiwpoint of a whale's fluke in the distance and you're far beneath the ocean waves, or in another impossibly (for a human)positioned above a craggy shoreline pounded by fierce waves beneath the seabirds below, their creies seeming to plaintively protest the leaden sky above.
and when you got the med not only would sleep/wake cycle become normal along w/normal dreaming, you'd experience a thing I can only compare to an animated portrayal I saw once from nasa. it showed a satellite deploying an array of solar panels after reching it's orbit. my mind does a thing like that, and I regain for example the ability to compose this; whereas 'mary had a little lamb' would amount to a most daunting challenge for me to post sans my med. yet in the mentally impaired state i'm somehow aware of what being whole, the thing the med does for me, amounts to all the while.
there is no shame in incorrectness having become a part of our conclusions. only in retaining them when the truth is brought to light. I wish I had I were a more effective advocate for the truth when it comes to my own indication, especially w/the md's.
maybe i'll look into the dale Carnegie effective speaking course I hed an ad for listening to the traffic and weather reports driving to work a few weeks ago. nobody, save my wife my boss + 1 doctor i'm so very fortunate to have, and an extremely scant few others seem to be aware I do not speak w/forked tongue.
With all due respect, your reply appears to have signs consistent with mania. Your lack of cohesion, egocentric justifications, and bombastic style of writing are merely a handful of numerous indicators.
Being as polite as possible, I believe we are each entitled to explore treatments that improve our quality of life. You explained, in different words, that if I lived a day in your shoes that I would feel guilt for doubting your unique needs. You even posted your MSLT results to back up your claim. Yet, you seem to forget that every single person on these forums has the same terrible disorder as you, and we each have our own sob story of how difficult it makes our lives to live.
I truly believe, that high doses of amphetamines make living with narcolepsy possible for you. Nor do I think your requiring of such dosages means you're an 'addict' or an 'abuser'. What I cannot dismiss as mere coincidence, though, is your need for these dosage levels and your prior history of using illegal methamphetamine. Your tolerance for amphetamines is extremely different than those of us whom never used.
Again, I truly believe you need and deserve the treatment that works for you. I'm simply pointing out how your unique needs are not due to narcolepsy alone. Rather, narcolepsy and illegal drug usage.
And with all of that said, I again apologize for my hostility in my initial post. I posted while in a foul mood and aimed my frustrations undeservingly at you. I hope this post conveys my true feelings in a more rational sense.