I don't fall when I laugh, I fall when I'm really stressed or very emotional on the negative side, but other than that, the weather is my primary trigger. Now, the weather is changing and my body doesn't like it.
When moving my body when I am 100%, I am strong, I am capable. These moments are rare as I generally walk around with about 60-(If I'm lucky)80% of that strength, and of course when I have an attack 0-2% of that strength, sometimes up to 40%, but there's no feeling of strength, because there's no feeling of my muscles. I have gone for weeks with attack after attack, one after another as if it's all one, laying there simply wondering when it's going to stop.
I'm sure many of you experience all of this, and find yourself debilitated by it.
I do two different type of physical activities to keep my body strong, and to enjoy my life. The first is a very gentle exercise form called Callanetics, where you are urged to only do what you can do, which has at times left me egoly challenged. The other is for when I'm doing well, because I like to take advantage of having a body and relishing in al the amazing things I can do. That is parkour. Parkour is the efficient movement through obstacles that stand in your way, namely cement walls and bars (I'm sure you've seen it in the movies).
Recently, however, I started realising and discovering something.... Even if I can't feel the strength, it's still there.
So with this in mind I looked back. Even when I was at my weakest, I could do some Callanetics, and I thought about that. and applied it to parkour. I didn't do anything stupid or risky, but I did do a muscle up onto a short wall, all the while not feeling any muscle effort being made, because i was having a "medium" cataplectic attack (I could feel about 40% of my muscles - enough to support me). In doing this, I concentrated on the movement, not feeling the movement with my muscles, but with the idea of the movement. I was mere energy moving, and I didn't feel any muscles moving or straining, because, well, they were paralyzed!
I wonder now, and I'm going to play with this idea, that I still have the strength, but when I am cataplectic, I need to approach my relationship to my muscles differently, I need to recognise they are there and they are strong, despite my not being able to feel it. It's like being blind and finding your way through an obstacle course. Or maybe what would be a better comparison would be learning how to use a prothesis, only the prothesis is your entire body, or half of your body, or your hands, depending on the day. If I believe and have confidence that my initial urge to move will have results of movement, regardless of the lack of feeling, it seems to move them. To the outsider, I have full use of my muscles, and I do, have use, but to me it's like I'm in the matrix and the reason I can do things is only that I believe I can.
Is it possible a cataplectic attack creates the illusion we cannot move rather than not actually being able to move?
Anyway, it's an idea, an idea that seems to be working for me. I believe it will just take practice and a lot of faith in the idea and my body. What have I got to lose, eh?