I am afraid of losing my boyfriend.
He has been so supportive, and has been right there for me during this whole process. But my
cataplexy is getting worse. This, along with college, job searching, and his personal going-ons, I have been losing in the communication department.
I had a fall the other day for the first time, knee gave out beneath me. It scared him. And it scared me more.
And then yesterday while we were talking about some stressful topiocs, I froze when he asked me a question. It was simple, and slightly unrelated, but important, and I just lost it. Froze, became disoriented, confused, silent. I could see that this frustrated him and I wanted so much to fix it. I tried to apolagize, but he said it was fine.
I don't want to blame this on cataplexy.
But it happens a lot. I get drained after social interation.
I tense up to any kind of confrontation and utypically fall asleep shortly thereafter. The slurring overcomes me.
And I just screwed us over in the communicatioins department.
I do not knnow what to do to help make it easier to communicate these difficulties.
I do not want to lose him, but I know that it is hard being in a relationship with someone like me.
I know that.
But I will do anything I can to make it easier. SO,
I need tips, hints, help, anything.
Doc is abou to switch me to Xyrem most likely after a 3 week trial of a double nuvigil dose that didn't work out so great. Maybe that will help with any kind of cataplexy slurring, and when that goes away I can focus on any other underlying things. I just don't know how to move forward when my brain just quits on me when I need to be 100% present.