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Feeling Positive Today!!

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#1 sreffert



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Posted 04 September 2013 - 01:03 PM

Man, I've been so down on myself for this dang disorder for far too long. Today I woke up and said to myself ENOUGH. IS. ENOUGH. I didn't ask for this, nobody in their right mind would. I did nothing wrong to cause it, I had a grand mal seizure triggered by nothing, and the neurological trauma basically flipped a switch and caused narcolepsy.

I took a very restorative (and what turned out to be clarifying) vacation a couple weeks ago to see my dad and stepmom in Florida. I went with the sole intent of relaxing and decompressing. While I was there, my stepmom told me about Wide Awake And Dreaming, which is a memoir by Julie Flygare who, at the time, was my age. I was near tears the entire time I was reading it because THESE ARE THE WORDS I HAVE BEEN LOOKING FOR!!! The best I had been able to do before reading this book was to say "it feels like my brain is going to turn to mush shortly after my eyeballs spontaneously burst into flames" when trying to describe the fatigue. I bought a copy for my boyfriend, my mom, and a few extras to give out to anyone who may want to know.

I have been lucky enough to be blessed with a boss who is fully supportive. I am a bartender, and it is ridiculous to expect the hours from me that most bars would. While he doesn't understand the disorder, he knows I am AWESOME at my job when running on all cylinders and now realizes that if I start forgetting drink orders right after asking for them, that things are going to get ugly rather quickly. Thankfully he also lives right next to the bar so he is always willing to let me crash on his couch for a bit to regain my clarity. How awesome is that???

So in short, today is going to be the start of a new chapter. I'm not feeling sorry for myself for one more second. The purpose of life is living and I'm sick and tired of sitting on the sidelines at only 24!

I'm attaching a picture of me feeling awesome.. And strong apparently.. And my newest tattoo. I based it off of a quote that goes "An arrow can only be shot by pulling it backward. So when life is dragging you back with difficulties, it means that it's going to launch you into something great. So just focus and keep aiming." More than ever, I'm believing it!!! Happy Wednesday everyone!!!!

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#2 DeathRabbit



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Posted 10 September 2013 - 05:01 PM

Awesome ink! Glad you are feeling up!

#3 Ferret



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Posted 10 September 2013 - 09:20 PM

You go girl! I'm proud of you! That is EXACTLY the kind of attitude that is required to get a handle on your life. Fight, fight, fight! You are MORE than just a person with N.

Here is a link to Julie's website if you don't have it...