So today I started mulling over whether I should even bother taking Xyrem. I started to go on an impulsivity binge (which I can thank BPD for). I decided that I was going to quit Xyrem because it was making me foggy and it would "never change anyway". I decided that I was going to change my life, start taking L-Theanine, Melatonin and Valerian. Do light workouts at night. And meditate before bed.
I decided that I didn't have any form of N or idiopathic hypersomnia (my diagnosis is in-between the two. Yep, in-between.) and I could EASILY get over EDS by just doing these nighttime routines and pushing myself through the day.
So here I am at 4:11 in the morning typing to everyone on NN. I went to bed at midnight and woke up a number of times. Now my body aches (happened often before Xyrem) and I am back to feeling how I felt before. Exhausted. Sore. Awake. And tired.
I haven't felt like myself since I have been on Xyrem and I am scared. As most of you know--I have chronic mental issues as well and that doesn't make my situation any easier. The people at the Success Program keep telling me that "clarity will come", that sometimes it just happens one day and other times it's a gradual awakening. But what if my clarity never comes back?
4:16am now. Started school Monday. Two classes today 35 minutes away 10am-5pm. Then work.
I picked the wrong day to test this.