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How To Date When You Have N/c


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#1 Guest_tabster1_*

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Posted 22 April 2013 - 08:56 AM

So I've just started dating this guy about 3 months ago. We have kissed twice and I'm starting to realize that whenever I decide I want to kiss him I get really sleepy and basically fall asleep so it never happens. Does this happen to anyone else? I'm also concerned about it triggering my cataplexy. Please tell me I'm not the only one who has this problem!

Also if I think about him in class or something I start to fall asleep as well.

*this is a repost since I somehow managed to put the first one in the kids n' such sub forum.

#2 DeathRabbit

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Posted 24 April 2013 - 10:41 AM

Are you currently being treated? If so, I'm sorry that really stinks. I don't know what to say. If he is being really understanding, maybe it'll be okay to just let things go how they're going. But if there's a burgeoning resntment or just confusion over your withholding affection, It might be best to perhaps cool things down until you can mange your disease more effectively. It could be advantageous to call time out early on, where there might be a possibility of renewal later on when you feel better, versus going on past the point where you can "take a break" without really causing hurt feelings. I had a lot of worries when I first started dating my gf, and tbh, it has caused me to be a pretty crappy boyfriend at times. I've been pretty lucky in the fact that she's naturally a low-energy person, as well. I don't get the cat, so I imagine that makes it even tougher. Just search your feelings and do what you think is right for you guys. Also, maybe if he is having trouble understanding your N struggle, perhaps take him to a few doctor visits with you. In addition to it perhaps giving him better perspective, a lot of times, doctors take things mroe seriously if you bring back up. I remember there were a few times early on I had to take my Dad in with me to get the ball rolling.



#3 sk8aplexy

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Posted 24 April 2013 - 06:01 PM

I've unfortunately had serious trouble/s or I should say rather, difficulties, in the entire department...   : <

Speaking emotion when I like her, the early chit chat and the having to, or being expected to, make the approach and/or (so called) moves; has always been problematic or perhaps I should say, near, impossible.  Not drinking beer, wine nor alcohol and living in a, more or less, small college party town; plus being in my 30's, plays into the difficulty now.   But, Cataplexy I think even throughout the years prior (teens) to it causing collapsing, was definitely there interfering.

As prior to my teens, I'd not be able to lift my arms while being tickled, so Cataplexy has been there since my early childhood and even infancy (I'd stare off while being tickled occasionally according to my parents).  The effect though has always been a mind/mental fog-heaviness-limiting-like form, which I was completely unaware of being perhaps Cataplexy.  In hindsight, I say such, as it's been a long while since I've had any engagement with such (I just keep to myself, I can not do the joking and whatever you may call it all).  I know everyone has nerves with such to an extent and some have more than others, I do tend to be an emotional person, but for me the emotion/s with Cataplexy has really left me, I guess as a loner.

Perhaps I wasn't around the right people or I just am weak, in regards to such.

For years now, I've expected and hoped things would just click one day (of course after time) mutually, but I really don't make much effort because I end up being entirely 'klutzy and/or severely timid, or weak'...

Okay sorry, this is becoming a sob story.  I am content though and one day, a clicking will occur, at least that's a hope.

We all do have a different story though.  In a nutshell, that is mine.

 

I do not know of any good advice, besides perhaps speaking directly, yet age and a lot more does play into it all in different/endless ways; so again I do not know what to say.

I will say, the best of luck to you with it.



#4 Guest_tabster1_*

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Posted 25 April 2013 - 09:34 AM

Well I have told him about my n/c so he knows about it. We are both college age and he is very laid back and cool with it. Its just bothering me that I am unable to make that initial move and the more I worry About it the worse it gets. I guess I am putting too much pressure on myself I think a part of it is the excitement but also the nervousness. I was just wondering if anyone else falls.asleep with strong emotion or.if maybe its actually cataplexy and I am confusing it.

#5 DeathRabbit

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Posted 25 April 2013 - 09:59 AM

Yeah, with me if I panic or get really angry, about 30 min later or so, I'll feel delirious. I think it's good that you told him too. It was a good test on the one hand, seeing as he didn't bail out and soon as you broke the news. Plus, I really do think people deserve to know what they're getting into when they date one of us. Otherwise you get threads like this: http://narcolepsynet...-a-narcoleptic/



#6 Guest_tabster1_*

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Posted 25 April 2013 - 05:18 PM

That thread really irritated me.

Interesting new development, today I was talking to a friend about how I couldn't kiss him and apparently that triggered a strong enough emotion that I had a full body cataplexy attack. I can count on one hand how many full body attacks I've had in my lifetime. I think it might be a combination of stress since finals are coming up and my increasing lack of sleep also its an emotional topic lol. We were walking to meet him so he saw the worst part of it and that's the first time he has ever seen it. He didn't seem too freaked out. And didnt go in the opposite way and become weirdly overprotective so that's good too.

#7 DeathRabbit

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Posted 25 April 2013 - 11:26 PM

Well cool, see there ya go!