Grades have dropped while on Provigil, have lost many friends due to my inability to leave my bed, and you wouldn't believe how messy my room is now haha .
.I'm sure that, if there is a god up there, that he knew we were all just way 2 awesome for the rest of society, and in order to restrain the beasts within he has to keep us perpetually sedated.
I can totally relate to the messy room. I've always had periods where my room is a mess, but, at least every few weeks I would clean it up so it was neat and decent. But now, well I can't even manage that. I pretty much avoid my room because I can't stand to look at it. :/ And I completely agree, I have been telling myself that obviously I have N, because well, the world just wouldn't be able to handle me if I was 'normal'. lol!
I can completely relate. I was diagnosed with N last summer, and started Nuvigil just before fall. I am in college, trying to finish prerequisites for nursing school, and I feel like the medication has somehow screwed things up. It improves my EDS, but I have slowly been feeling more tired lately. I upped the dosage after only three months, and then things were better again. But it's been about 5 months since I upped it, and it seems to be declining, again. I also never noticed my Cataplexy very much, but the other day I had my first fall, due to C. That was scary.
I thought that I had come to terms with having N, but I'm realizing that just because I read a bunch of articles, joined NN, and take medication for it, doesn't mean I have dealt with the emotions, or accepting the consequences I have been facing lately. Rather than show up to class late, (which happens, ALOT), I would rather skip than face the shame of walking in even 15 or 20 minutes late to class. Unfortunately, this doesn't fly with my job, and I'm constantly feeling guilt and shame when showing up to my client's house late. These are things that I have not dealt with, and I need to.
But, I did alter my school and work to fit better with my N. As much as possible, I try to avoid really early, or really late classes. I also do not attempt 13 credits anymore. I can do okay with 12, depending on the courses. But this semester, I needed to take Anatomy 2, with a lab. The lecture and lab are the same amount of time (2 hours 45 minutes) one on Monday and one on wednesday, but it's a total of 4 credits. So instead of taking three more 3 credit classes, I am only taking two other classes, which are 3 credits. Otherwise, I know I would be failing at least two of them. I have repeated multiple courses (this is my second time taking a&p 2, and I took math 105 twice, only managing a D). So my advice, is to know your limits, and if you can, compensate to work around issues that might make it worse. Energetic professors, prime time classes, notes available online, these are all things that are well worth finding in a class. Otherwise, I'm bound to fall asleep, probably miss some notes, as well as a class or three.
Also, as far as medication. It's important to remember that it is possible, and very likely, that you will develop a tolerance to them at some point in time. There is a post in the Treatment discussion board about a drug that might help with this. I haven't gotten a chance to check out the information, but wanted to pass it along. the link to the topic here: http://narcolepsynet...ce/#entry22905
Keep your chin up! Also, if you're interested, I have been reading the book "Wide Awake and Dreaming" by Julie Flygare, and it's very good and has given me a different perspective. It's on amazon, available in paperback or the kindle version. Definitely recommend it!