A year ago my husband and I got married. We dated for a few years in which I would spend a few days at his house (I lived with my parents, he had a house) and I never had problems sleeping. I moved in with him a few months before the wedding and was sleeping fine. Starting January I have really, really struggled with sleeping.
I have kind of known that he has narcolepsy. What I mean is, his parents say he's been diagnosed but he claims he's not or that they got the diagnosis wrong but I know he's taken nuvagil before. He does not take it now. He is very anti-medicine (even mild OTC stuff..yet he's a smoker, but that's totally something else lol). He's done sleep studies when he was younger. His brother has sleep apnea and has one of those masks.
It seems every few months some new symptom comes up. I am starting to resent him because I never sleep anymore. We don't have a couch (we have a love seat) or another bed for me to go to so I pile up blankets on a floor and sleep there. Unfortunately this happens a lot and I take offense to it and feel degraded by this. He has back problems so he can't sleep on a floor, if that's an excuse who knows. The back problems are real though. Sometimes he puts me on a guilt trip for sleeping in another room, or gets mad at me and tells me to "just fall asleep". My favorite is when I've been awake for a number of hours and he gets mad because I wake him up.
I'm a light sleeper naturally. Every night I have to wear ear plugs and sometimes I have to take sleeping pills. These are the sleeping habits he has that are driving me mad:
- Snores ALL NIGHT, from the second he falls asleep to the second he wakes up. It used to be that he was quiet for the first hour, allowing me to fall asleep, but not anymore. The snoring can be loud enough that I can hear through my ear plugs because it is deep and vibrates my pillow. I can also sometimes hear it 30 feet away with a closed door and walls between us. I do suspect mild apnea, but as I'll talk about in a minute he won't go to a doctor. He is not overweight.
- Elbows me in the back and face and head (he vehemently denies this, not that he would know he's doing it) from constantly moving arms
- "wakes up" and has conversations with me like I'm one of the guys at work. This happens only a few times a year and the first few times kind of freaked me out but now I find amusement from it because the next day I tell him what he says and we laugh about it. This one doesn't bother me.
- He generally is even tempered and sweet towards me, but if he's asleep and we get annoyed at each other (IE me waking him up for elbowing me in the face/back/head), he screams at me and says horrible horrible stuff. Sometimes he doesn't remember this. I thought he was just ashamed of what he said and was in denial but I saw on here that someone's significant other does this as well.
- Literally, takes 10 seconds to fall asleep which I am envious of.
- Has horrible nightmares that literally paralyze his body. A lot of them are of shadowy figures that stand above him when he is in bed. I used to get those when I was a kid so I know exactly what he is experiencing and I hate that he has to have these. He also has the dreams that he's falling. I have also had these.
- Sometimes no matter what I do, he just will not wake up.
- And the newest and worst of them all - now he moves constantly in patterns.
In the past he has stated he will NOT go see a sleep doctor or do another sleep study. I have literally begged, to no avail. Outside of this sleep issue we get along really well and he is very good to me but it's like there's an evil monster in him when he sleeps. Because of his straightforward "I'm not going to do anything about it and you can't make me" attitude - in fact he's told me I'm the one that needs to go get a sleep study done and need to get on prescriptive sleeping pills - it is making me very bitter and I am not willing to be understanding.
Sorry for the long post but I've been tired lately (averaging 4 hours of sleep on a floor the last few nights) and I have been going through this for a year and look forward to a lifetime, and have not been able to talk to anyone about it, not even him, so the frustration has been building.