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State Of Mind During Automatic Behavior

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What is your state of during automatic behavior? What does the whole thing feel like? Do you feel yourself go into and come out of it? Do you have memory of automatic behavior afterward?

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When I go into what I call a sleep episode I don't fall asleep I just get brain fog and during the brain fog I have some automatic behavior, I remember everything. My biggest problems during these episodes is how I talk, I sound like I'm drunk and some times I can't even finish a sentence because I forget what I'm saying.

Now is that part of N or is that normal when you get tired. I always question my N because a lot of people seem to have the same issues.

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I tend to be in a "daydream" or just in a fog... I don't usually remember anything I did or how I did something when I go into automatic mode

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I have experienced this for most of my life and never knew what it was, so I wasn't bothered by it. I just figured I was deep in thought- but I could never remember the thought. Now that I know what AB is, it bothers me a lot. In Nov 2011, I was preparing for a PSG/MSLT. I had discontinued Adderall or reduced other medication in preparation. I was feeling rough and started a 3 mile run on a rural road. I am accustomed to pushing myself through sleep attacks with exercise and I often improve. I always time my runs between landmarks to keep a steady pace. I keep my breathing/stride to a count. At one point, my vision was a bit hazy, my breathing was shallow, I was taking very small strides- and I was farther down the road. This was the first time I had proof because my time was off and I never run slow or breathe shallow. I had read about Automatic Behavior and suspected it was responsible for many unexplained events. This event scared me. I realized I could have been injured or been hit by a car. I had no memory of those several minutes. I do not push myself through sleep attacks any more. Thankfully those are well controlled now. I do sometimes zone out when sleepy or daydream a bit- that happens to everyone, but for me AB is just dead air space while I am still moving. I will do anything I can to prevent that from happening again. Too many times I came home and didn't remember the drive- Times when I was lap swimming and lost my count and my time was off. For me, this is a lot more serious than the "keys in the refrigerator" description I have read about. I have been in dangerous situations without knowing the danger. Sorry to be a downer, this is big for me right now. The good news is I am still here and thankful for the Dx.

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Numbness. I'm aware of the blanket coming down on my consciousness. i struggle to type, my words get mangled. It's like my mind is freezing, it's cold in my brain and things are slowing down. Must... fight... it... almost reach the surface, treading water hard against the dream currents trying to pull me under. Wait. What am I doing? Must... phone. Rings. must answer the phone. Okay. Hi? Hello? good. Write down appointment. No, paper. Get paper. Pencil. Write... down... hands, c'mon hands, move. Please. Paper. ... ... ... write. Down. 14th, ten AM, okay. Written down. Don't sleep. No, don't sleep, where am I going to- wait....

And I try not to get lost in it, and I fight it. And then I'm either awake or asleep, depending on whether I've won. I know those are when it's time to take my ritalin, and if I do, that's what pulls me out. I hate it, though. I hate it so much.

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