Clyde had heard something out there go bump in the night, so he put on his make-em tall c'boy boots and went out there. Again. There was something wrong. It was the the look of the desert during this hot, moonlit night. Besides being ghosty and quiet, the cheat grass in the sandy foothills was glowing in a slightly radioactive manner, and there were also faintly luminous patches between clumps of sagebrush. It made him think of a Salvador Dali painting, with melting watches and spooky lions. He was trying to be quiet but he felt the pebbles shift beneath his boots and he knew that any critters out there could hear it. A critter did hear and it came toward him but it was just a cat. Just a cat.
A feral cat, and not friendly at all. Its eyes were flickering yellow at odd moments. Not friendly at all, it was possessed by a mindless hate. It leapt at Clyde's chest, raking through a part of his shirt. Its small talons seemed to be coated with disease so that the bleeding scratches would fester. Rabid? Was it insane? There was no stopping this blindly murderous cat short of killing it and Clyde was disgusted by what he did. But now it was dead. He had killed it only for self protection and he knew he would eventually overcome the revulsion. He felt pity for the insane thing.
But wait! There was another slinking, dirty cat and it had positioned itself between Clyde and the house as if it had more intelligence than it should, and the result was the same. He had to kill it. But a little more damage was done, a stinging cut very close to his eye. Now there were even more cats! Revenge. That's what they wanted, revenge, and Clyde was thinking, "Dang it! I didn't start this!" It made no difference. Each cat would attack stupidly, stubbornly and he was becoming a mass of sores .......
Whammo! Clyde made a kicking, thrashing return to the real world. Pretty Baby was trying to get his attention.
"Clyde! Wake up! I can hear something outside!"
"You go!" he said.
The next day, Pretty Baby was telling me about all this. She thought he had a dream about some woman, that's what. Clyde had said something about Haley Sue Nation.
"Hallucination," corrected Clyde, "Hippo goggle hallucination. She hasn't learned those scientific names yet."
Clyde tells me that the cats have not returned. This is because (just for good luck) he has silently apologized to the entire feline race and has promised to forever give them respect, and he'd even pretend to think they are smart, and also he'd help any cat in distress and he will leave them alone whenever they want and....
I was saying that this is pretty much an attempt to fool yourself but he had a different outlook.
"Wal, I guess the Haley Sue Nation was just me fooling myself so its a good idea to fool myself right back. I'll do anything to stop these Haley Sue Nations. You got no idea how real these things are!"
Then he said, " Well, I guess YOU know how real it is. I remember you talking about the time you removed your own kidneys and left them on the floor, knowing you can live a while without them. You'd put them back pretty soon. But then the danged dog ate them. That was when you knew you were going to die! You was pretty upset about that!"
"Yeah, that's true. And I don't want to go through that again. I guess I better sit down and really apologize to my kidneys."
Reporting from Fort Mudge, Idaho
I think this will be the last of these thangs that I will send unless I write up another. A new one comes every ten, twenty years. The few I have not sent are rather poor and maybe sometime I can fix them up somehow.
Many, including the above are based on real events. How could Haley Sue Nation be based on real events? Well, I have had both of those HH's. The dog eating the kidneys may sound humorous but I really felt the awful tragedy . I mean it was my own stupid fault that I would no longer enjoy the light and beauty of life on this earth. How awful it was!
14 Haley Sue Nation
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