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13 Bull Sitting


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#1 Emo

Emo

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  • Location:Fort Mudge, Idaho
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Posted 01 January 2012 - 06:10 PM

You remember Clyde the N cowboy from Idaho? You would think that he is no rodeo artist, let alone an event champion. He's a rodeo champeen alright. This came to light when Pretty Baby had borrowed a shovel to clean up his fixer-upper house out there in the sagebrush desert. She found this certificate thing.

You should see her! I bet she wears those jeans into the bathtub to get that shrinkwrap fit. Good thing too. She has this fine little fanny and a snappy way of walking and a smile that breaks my heart and.. uh... Oh yeah, the certificate:
The certificate shows that Hopalong Clyde had won five hundred dollars at the local rodeo. It's called the Snake River Stampede, held some sixteen miles east of Fort Mudge. Now, I know that Clyde is much too scrawny to wrassle steers and ride bulls and all that but Pretty Baby was telling me that this was a contest of sheer courage.

They don't hold this contest nowadays. I'll bet the decision to abandon the sport was due to a lack of living participants. What they did was put four little folding chairs and a card table out in the middle of the arena. Then they'd have have four c'boys go out there and sit at the table. Next they'd shove out a (pissed off) bull. The last man to panic and run for his life is the winner and, this one time, the winner was H. Clyde!

Clyde was saying that you want to sit real still and hope the bull will notice somebody else first. The bull is always cranky having been pushed and shoved and ridden all day long and sometimes a bull throws chairs and table and idiot cowboys in all directions. But still, Clyde was embarrassed to be thought of as brave.

He says, "Wasn't bein' brave. Set me down on a chair and give me nothin' to do and you just KNOW what's gonna happen."

Well, yes I guess I know. But I told Clyde that it was a pretty neat trick to get paid five hundred schmackers for a little sleep attack!

He says, "Phoo. It didn't hardly pay the ambulance!"

Emo