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#1 Emo

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Posted 14 December 2011 - 03:56 AM

Hopalong Clyde's new horse got away from him the last night. An escape artist apparently. At the end of the next day's search Clyde and Pretty Baby and a neighbor boy had finally tracked and guessed their way to the Sponable's ranch. The Sponable's were not at home which as just a well because Clyde's horse was on the porch! They could not get him off that porch.

Now I don't understand about horses and so I had to have it explained to me just how could a horse not be able to get off a porch when he was able to climb in. Going in was not hard to explain. Probably that horse had been in the yard, munching some delicious dessert that he'd discovered (Martha Sponable's tulips) and he ate his way along the decorative trail leading up to the porch. Perhaps Martha had put some tulips in a vase right on the porch or he just went up there for some other horsey reason. Whatever. You might feel better about the destruction if you know that the horse did not like, and would not eat, the daffodils.

But once a horse discovers he has a problem he will NOT lower his head. Out in the wild, such critters must keep head and eyeballs high, watching for predators whenever there is trouble. It's an instinct and ya can't reason with it. In this case, lowering his head was required. He needed to stoop his head below the awning in order to descend but he would NOT do it.

There was some urgency about getting him out of there. If he were to become alarmed by his entrapment, which could happen at any time, he could make a successful, but destructive exit. Horses are strong, heavy and even have iron shoes. The Sponable's porch was sturdy but also was kept very neat. Tidy. Clyde, like many of us PWN, gives up on neatness and perfection in order to conserve energy for life's more necessary chores. Therefore Clyde has always felt a little uneasy about his standing with the Sponables. What if they came home and discovered that Clyde had failed to properly keep his horse at home and then it ate the Missus' flower garden and damaged the porch. In their eyes it would be another example of Clyde's slipshod way of doing things. Too embarrassing. Got to get that danged horse gone!

Here's the brilliant solution: open the front door and lead the horse through the house and out the back. The back door was easily unlocked, using a little ingenuity. Next we open the front door and there ya go. No problemo. Horse was calm, not even very interested in the interior while being led out.

Clyde was coming along behind as they were navigating out of the parlor. Nobody saw him have his own problem. He was thinking that this was indeed a stupid situation. Nerve wracking. What if the Sponable's caming home right at this very moment? They'd find him and his danged horse in the parlor! Too embarrassing. What does a real cowboy do in such stressful situations? He gets the giggles! Anybody would do that.

I guess you know that Clyde can't do much laughing .... the cataplexy gets him. He was keeping his hysteria under control and was doing OK. Yup, being a man with considerable self control, especially in tight situations, he was doing OK. Until the horse lifted his tail and made a deposit.

Everybody, horse and all, made their exit and then discovered that they had to go back for Clyde. They helped him out -- he was still trying to giggle -- relocked the doors and were gone just before the Sponables returned.

Now, if you want to have some fun and maybe you are braver than you are smarter, just mention to Clyde something about hot, wet road apples (still smokin') in somebody's parlor. Just help him imagine the scene when those people came home! You will have sufficient time to escape before Clyde can get back on his feet and grab the Winchester.

Emo
Reporting from Fort Mudge, Idaho

#2 Emo

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Posted 16 December 2011 - 11:18 PM

I have noticed just recently that I have somehow patterned Hopalong Clyde after my Great Granddaddy. Even his appearance. And now, I have told one of his stories. The version we have is sketchy. G G'daddy's new horse did end up on a neighbor's porch and they did finally take it through the house and he did laugh so much as to be helpless.

This composing page indicates that in the "Add Reply" area it is possible to attach photos. I think I will try to send you a photo of "Hopalong Clyde" taken at the summit on the road to Rocky Bar, facing toward Black Warrior Creek. Behind him is Greylock Mountain, in Idaho. Love these names.

Attached File  G on the road to R Bar.jpg   316.71KB   5 downloads

I don't know right now if this worked. Hafta send this blurb and then we will see.

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Next I will dredge up another true story (that has been fleshed out a bit, embellished, narcolepsified). If this photo business works, I can send "Ruth, the Injun Fighter" who stars in the story.

Ok, here I go.

Hang on!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Emo