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The Benifits Of Aggressively Protecting Yourself At Work.


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#1 Geohff

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Posted 03 October 2010 - 09:41 AM

One major mistake I made at work was not aggressively protecting myself legally and just fairly. When I was first diagnosed with a "sleep disorder" in 2008 and notified my company I took on the attitude it was my personal and ethical responsibility to work around my illness and protect the company. I tried to be as flexible as I could and at all times and tried to work with the company to make it so I could work. When I was diagnosed officially in 2010 with "symptoms consistent with Narcolepsy" I danced around it at first. afraid and feeling guilty about putting the company "out." But as the illness got worse I began to assert myself and insist I not be "killed" trying to do what I could not physically do anymore. It was at this point the nice guy always willing to be flexible employee went away and the company instead of rewarding 6 years of hard work and flexibility with a little understanding - punished me.

I did know my rights but the actions I took in ignorance to "help me help them" so to speak just trying to to be a good employee; I somewhat protected myself. If I had known my true rights I could have done much better.

My advice is: 1) Learn your rights and insist on them! 2) Don't hide your condition, notify the company as soon as you know. Document everthing in some way; diagnosis, prescriptions, conversations, promises and etc. 3) Don't make promises or try to do what you cannot do without "killing" yourself. Do do what you promise, you must uphold deals you make so make them carefully. 4) Ask for a Reasonable Accommodation for things that will realistically and actually help you do your job. 5) Don't let your job rack up sick days or bad reviews or discipline related to your illness. Make it clear if something is related to your illness that is negatively impacting you that you say so and then try to deal with that negative impact and not get those bad reps. Make sure if you are disciplined you make them document your excuss (accepted or not) that it is related to your illness. You cannot abuse this however. 6) Fear is going to be a big issue, fear of losing your job. But living with bad conditions for a year and then ultimately losing your job is worse than being up front and then losing your job. Protect yourself, for yourself and if the company works with you great! If not then its just one of those band aid things, better to get it over with quickly. And if they grossly violate your rights and fire you for a disability you have legal recourse. 7) Do not quit! Make them fire you. One exception is something called a Constructive Discharge (Is generally when working conditions are so intolerable you quit but it amounts to a firing, despite a lack of a formal termination notice.) But you really need to understand what this is, what makes it legal and how to claim it, so again refer to rule #1.

I believe aggression is the key. Anyone else have input / corrections / suggestions?



#2 ZombiePrincess

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Posted 11 November 2010 - 03:20 PM

Wow! I can't tell you how much I can relate! I was also officially diagnosed last month but have been dealing with the issues of N for the past couple years. My mom has N so a couple years ago when my doctor suggested I had it too I was more than overwhelmed w/emotions and put off a diagnosis due to denial. I only decided to pursue the diagnosis last month when my employer decided to get aggressive about the issues she had been "unofficially" working with me on. I guess in this economy when work is scarce and there are plenty of people ready to replace you, she decided she had a right to demand even more of me. But, after being name MVP of the company year after year, my N symptoms started getting worse and worse. My mistake was thinking that I deserved a break and because my boss had agreed to "unofficially" work with me meant that she was going to continue even w/worse symptoms. But, thankfully my mom's experiences with job loss after job loss (due to N), taught me to keep copies of every conversation and promise so when I had to get aggressive back w/my boss, I think it took her by surprise that I had leverage. Moral of the story: No matter how small the percentage your boss/employer will "turn on you", NEVER SAY NEVER! Always be prepared for the worst because when a great big ol corporation does "turn on you", you will need something on your side to win the war!

#3 whattodo

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Posted 14 February 2011 - 11:45 PM

Great topic! I am an Administrative Assistant. I fall "asleep" at least twice a day. Once in the morning, and once in the afternoon. I have my own office, so it is pretty simple to hide my sleep attacks. Although, sometimes I feel like people might notice. No one has ever once mentioned anything to me about me being tired or falling asleep, so I feel that I have been extremely lucky so far.

I have not yet been diagnosed for N, but I do know I have it. I am waiting to get into the doctor to get a sleep study done to confirm it. Once I do, I feel I should notify my managers, but am very terrified to do so. I am still in denial with people I know. I am embarrassed to tell people I have N because I have always been that girl who sleeps all the time. I always thought it was normal for me, but not normal for anyone. Once I found this website, I realized these are normal symtoms for someone who has N.

I still feel like I will not tell anyone at work even after being diagnosed. I am scared. Scared of so many things all involving embarrassment, the safety of my job, and so much more. I know I should inform my company, but like I said, I am in denial with everyone except my immediate family.

Advice? ... Posted Image

#4 ZombiePrincess

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Posted 15 February 2011 - 07:56 PM

Great topic! I am an Administrative Assistant. I fall "asleep" at least twice a day. Once in the morning, and once in the afternoon. I have my own office, so it is pretty simple to hide my sleep attacks. Although, sometimes I feel like people might notice. No one has ever once mentioned anything to me about me being tired or falling asleep, so I feel that I have been extremely lucky so far.

I have not yet been diagnosed for N, but I do know I have it. I am waiting to get into the doctor to get a sleep study done to confirm it. Once I do, I feel I should notify my managers, but am very terrified to do so. I am still in denial with people I know. I am embarrassed to tell people I have N because I have always been that girl who sleeps all the time. I always thought it was normal for me, but not normal for anyone. Once I found this website, I realized these are normal symtoms for someone who has N.

I still feel like I will not tell anyone at work even after being diagnosed. I am scared. Scared of so many things all involving embarrassment, the safety of my job, and so much more. I know I should inform my company, but like I said, I am in denial with everyone except my immediate family.

Advice? ... Posted Image


Ah well this is a hard one. After years of my boss "unofficially" working with me, she "strongly suggested" I submit FMLA paperwork to "protect myself" so I did. My doctor filled out the FMLA paperwork to allow for intermittent leave as needed. I was terrified to submit the docs to our HR dept b/c they are notorious gossips and I didn't want it to leak but after talking to the manager of HR who assured me that these types of files are stored in a separate location, I sent them in. In retrospect, I feel like my boss was probably just trying to protect herself somehow and I still have real concerns about Mississippi being a state that can fire someone without a reason but it does offer some security knowing there is a paper trail. I ended up explaining N to my boss and assistant manager because I figured that personally as women they were more likely to work with me more if they felt involved. They have indeed been more flexible because they now believe I actually have something wrong with me (not that I'm just the laziest person alive anymore). It’s funny, I've always produced the best numbers among lenders in a relatively large credit union but their general perception of me was that I could do so much more if I wasn't always "sick" (sleepy). My only real regret in telling them is that no matter how well I try to explain N, they will never really understand it.

When it comes to co-workers, I've only told a couple of them that I'm closest to and much like my boss, they don't really understand, but at least they care about me so they don't really tease me anymore about being sleepy all the time. I wish I could say my family was this receptive but unfortunately, my mom (who also has N) really believes me. Go figure! Posted Image



#5 Gabby

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Posted 24 February 2011 - 11:36 PM

I thought all was good at work. Even mentioned it to people here. They were great about it till the bosses were told that meds were involved. they were pretty excited when I asked to change my hours to start at 7:30 and work until 5:00. They loved the idea of an hour and a half lunch as long as someone would open the office earlier in the day.. Then I told them that I planned to find a place to do my power napduring my long lunch. OMG. Now it's all down hill. I was told to reread the companies drug and alcohol policy and this years performance review that I signed today was as an all time low. Extra work is being assigned. and I'm being called on because I can't complete it in the amount of time they set That great workplace I thought I was in is slowly starting to turn. Bosses just stopped discussing anything to do with my diagnosis. With the added work load, I've suddenly become an employee who is further behind in her work than anyone else. So the negatives are starting. And they said that I can do a nap as long as I do it in my car in the parking lot. Arizona Folks! People die from being inside closed cars here. Even HR won't help me find just a quiet closet for 45 minutes a day. Yep, FMLA, here we come. this really sucks. Sorry to be a whiner. I'm more angry at how two faced it is. So instead of the research track I was on, now I need to learn form everyone out here how to protect myself.

#6 Geohff

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Posted 25 February 2011 - 06:15 AM

Make the request "official" with a Reasonable Accomidation! Protect yourself now! Ask for what you need to keep your job and be as productive as you can, if this is space indoors to nap request it officially. Good luck.

#7 Gabby

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Posted 25 February 2011 - 06:32 AM

Thanx Geohff.
Wow I was a little cranky last night when I posted. A new day usually looks brighter, huh? I'll research the information, find the ADA office in our area for more information, and get all of the forms for the doctor to fill out. But I'll also continue to work really hard in order to show that I'm as capable as ever.

#8 ImSleepin

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Posted 03 April 2011 - 11:39 PM

Gabby, I'm really sorry you have to deal with that BS. Here's some info from the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission about treating you less favorably for having a disability:
http://www.eeoc.gov/.../disability.cfm

I told my boss at work when I was first diagnosed because I knew I would likely be sick a lot as we tried different medications. She took it well, and so did the other managers. At this point, I feel considerably better, but I'm still not 100% (though I'm sure most of us aren't anyway haha). I doubt that I will tell my next boss unless I start to have some bad episodes that affect my performance at work, or cause me to be late/sick/etc. I have to admit I was lucky, though.

#9 Rrrapture

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Posted 27 April 2011 - 04:47 PM

I thought all was good at work. Even mentioned it to people here. They were great about it till the bosses were told that meds were involved. they were pretty excited when I asked to change my hours to start at 7:30 and work until 5:00. They loved the idea of an hour and a half lunch as long as someone would open the office earlier in the day.. Then I told them that I planned to find a place to do my power napduring my long lunch. OMG. Now it's all down hill. I was told to reread the companies drug and alcohol policy and this years performance review that I signed today was as an all time low. Extra work is being assigned. and I'm being called on because I can't complete it in the amount of time they set That great workplace I thought I was in is slowly starting to turn. Bosses just stopped discussing anything to do with my diagnosis. With the added work load, I've suddenly become an employee who is further behind in her work than anyone else. So the negatives are starting. And they said that I can do a nap as long as I do it in my car in the parking lot. Arizona Folks! People die from being inside closed cars here. Even HR won't help me find just a quiet closet for 45 minutes a day. Yep, FMLA, here we come. this really sucks. Sorry to be a whiner. I'm more angry at how two faced it is. So instead of the research track I was on, now I need to learn form everyone out here how to protect myself.


I've experienced some of what you're talking about, specifically accomodation issues. It is a little scary and definitely a big challenge. Of course you can't nap in your car, Gabby!

I was working full time at a company of 300 people when I sought and received my N diagnosis. The biggest issue for my boss at the time (a pretty good guy) was my lateness in the morning, though I always made up the hours. I even worked a little too much. I finally realized that after the company moved from its original location and my commute went from 15 minutes to 45, that that I was almost completely unable to wake up and arrive before 9am. That led me to research the morning wakefulness problem. Otherwise I had decent productivity, excellence in some areas, and a good attitude.

Six months after diagnosis, beginning treatment, communication with my bosses and HR: stress, medication side effects and functioning get so bad that I have to go on short term disability. Since I've worked as a teenager, I rarely had taken off more than the occasional sick day. I come back after 7 weeks of being bed ridden, more stabile and with a better idea of how to cope. My boss changed, the company was still fairly accomodating, and then they really just...balked at providing me with a decent place to rest. I didn't always drive (I took public transport half the time. Or cabs.), and not being able to rest well afor 15 minutes twice a day seriously impacted me. My productivity had increased, but the work situation worsened, and they ended up 'letting me go' with a month or so of pay (after I signed some paperwork).

I was both devastated, and relieved that I would be able to rest finally. I've thought a lot about how things played out, and if I could go back I would do some things differently for sure. This includes protecting myself more aggressively, by hiring legal counsel, taking enough time out to assess what I was going through, and getting better help so that I wasn't so vulnerable and worn out.

I do some freelance to stay in the game, but unemployment checks are still my mainstay. Fortunately I can claim the occasional freelance work, not receive the unemploment amount for that week, but get it for the weeks I don't have freelance. I am still struggling to make ends meet, and will need to figure something out so that I can have continued insurance coverage (post COBRA) and stable, higher income. I'm single and live alone.

Thanks everyone for sharing your experiences, and letting me share mine.

#10 Rrrapture

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Posted 27 April 2011 - 04:55 PM

I thought all was good at work. Even mentioned it to people here. They were great about it till the bosses were told that meds were involved. they were pretty excited when I asked to change my hours to start at 7:30 and work until 5:00. They loved the idea of an hour and a half lunch as long as someone would open the office earlier in the day.. Then I told them that I planned to find a place to do my power napduring my long lunch. OMG. Now it's all down hill. I was told to reread the companies drug and alcohol policy and this years performance review that I signed today was as an all time low. Extra work is being assigned. and I'm being called on because I can't complete it in the amount of time they set That great workplace I thought I was in is slowly starting to turn. Bosses just stopped discussing anything to do with my diagnosis. With the added work load, I've suddenly become an employee who is further behind in her work than anyone else. So the negatives are starting. And they said that I can do a nap as long as I do it in my car in the parking lot. Arizona Folks! People die from being inside closed cars here. Even HR won't help me find just a quiet closet for 45 minutes a day. Yep, FMLA, here we come. this really sucks. Sorry to be a whiner. I'm more angry at how two faced it is. So instead of the research track I was on, now I need to learn form everyone out here how to protect myself.


One last note that comes from my experience and conversations I've had with HR professionals. In most companies, the Human Resources Department (individual people can be wonderful) ultimately functions to protect the company, not you the employee.

#11 blahblahkathy

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Posted 04 August 2011 - 08:44 PM

One major mistake I made at work was not aggressively protecting myself legally and just fairly. When I was first diagnosed with a "sleep disorder" in 2008 and notified my company I took on the attitude it was my personal and ethical responsibility to work around my illness and protect the company. I tried to be as flexible as I could and at all times and tried to work with the company to make it so I could work. When I was diagnosed officially in 2010 with "symptoms consistent with Narcolepsy" I danced around it at first. afraid and feeling guilty about putting the company "out." But as the illness got worse I began to assert myself and insist I not be "killed" trying to do what I could not physically do anymore. It was at this point the nice guy always willing to be flexible employee went away and the company instead of rewarding 6 years of hard work and flexibility with a little understanding - punished me.

I did know my rights but the actions I took in ignorance to "help me help them" so to speak just trying to to be a good employee; I somewhat protected myself. If I had known my true rights I could have done much better.

My advice is: 1) Learn your rights and insist on them! 2) Don't hide your condition, notify the company as soon as you know. Document everthing in some way; diagnosis, prescriptions, conversations, promises and etc. 3) Don't make promises or try to do what you cannot do without "killing" yourself. Do do what you promise, you must uphold deals you make so make them carefully. 4) Ask for a Reasonable Accommodation for things that will realistically and actually help you do your job. 5) Don't let your job rack up sick days or bad reviews or discipline related to your illness. Make it clear if something is related to your illness that is negatively impacting you that you say so and then try to deal with that negative impact and not get those bad reps. Make sure if you are disciplined you make them document your excuss (accepted or not) that it is related to your illness. You cannot abuse this however. 6) Fear is going to be a big issue, fear of losing your job. But living with bad conditions for a year and then ultimately losing your job is worse than being up front and then losing your job. Protect yourself, for yourself and if the company works with you great! If not then its just one of those band aid things, better to get it over with quickly. And if they grossly violate your rights and fire you for a disability you have legal recourse. 7) Do not quit! Make them fire you. One exception is something called a Constructive Discharge (Is generally when working conditions are so intolerable you quit but it amounts to a firing, despite a lack of a formal termination notice.) But you really need to understand what this is, what makes it legal and how to claim it, so again refer to rule #1.



You all seem like the people to talk to! I've been diagnosed with narcolepsy for two years now, but have, like most people, had it much longer. I have worked for the same company for 4 years now. I have always received excellent reviews and evaluations, and it is a point of pride for me that in 4 years I have never missed a day of work. But I am frequently late. I have huge issues with waking up in the morning, so being to work at 8 a.m. is really tough for me. I have tried a million different things for the past 2 years to fix this problem but I can't seem to make headway. Other than being late, I have had absolutely no issues at work. Because I am afraid to ask for anything, I do nap in my car on my lunchbreak, and I live in Tennessee so we're in the upper 90's this time of year!

I have gone out of my way to make sure that my narcolepsy does not affect my job. But here lately, they have been cracking down on employee tardys, and my name's on that list. So to try to protect myself, I've asked for an accommodation to push back my start time from 8 am to 9 am. I really wanted to ask that they just not hold being late to work against me, but I was told by market HR that they could not say it was okay for someone to be late to work. So our market HR manager told me to fill out ADA paperwork. As soon as I turned it in, they began talking about how my change of availability meant that I could no longer keep the same position that I have now. And because of my pay grade at work, changing positions means that I would have to take a demotion, and more than likely lose my full-time status.

I view this as retaliation, but Tennessee is a no-fault state, so they might be able to do this and it be perfectly legal. I was just wondering if anyone had any advice? I'm lost, and honestly scared to death about what they are going to do to me!

#12 blahblahkathy

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Posted 20 August 2011 - 08:29 PM

Got the verdict. They did accommodate me, and I didn't have to change positions or lose my full-time status. So far everything is going great!

#13 ihatenarcolepsy

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Posted 31 August 2011 - 09:46 PM

Got the verdict. They did accommodate me, and I didn't have to change positions or lose my full-time status. So far everything is going great!

I am glad things worked out for you! I was hoping maybe you could give me advice, I have been working for the company since July and was late almost everyday for the first three weeks while I was still on Nuvigil the side effects were the worst in the mornings after that I started Zyrem so far it is working well for me and I have not been late in two weeks but today I missed work bc I was sick tonight a co-worked called to tell me that she over-heard my boss say if I wasn't there tomorrow I would no longer have a job! Other details are she begins talking about me as soon as I walk away from what I am wearing to what question I asked about my job duties, I struggle with not defending myself but I think retaliating would lead to me being fired. Yet the way she speaks to me and about me is completly unprofessional and will make it seem as if I am to stupid to do my job even in front of clients and other employees. I do not know what to do :( How do make sure I am protected and covered? Any suggestions or experince related would be appreciated! Im scared to lose my job and Im so ready for narcolepsy not to control my life :(

#14 drago

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Posted 05 September 2011 - 02:07 PM

I have some recommendations to add:

1. When attempting to transition into a new regimen of medication, or attempting to eliminate an issue, simply apply for the accommodation and avoid explaining the entire thing to your boss (or the HR people, my past employer does not have HR).

I made the mistake of talking to my boss about the fact that I was looking for a medical solution for my frequent lateness, which usually meant I would come in 10-25 minutes late. I explained that if none of my medical options worked, I would have to have an accommodation. I did this because my boss presented himself as an honest person who cared about those who worked with him, and having worked with the company for over a year, I had become a vital asset. I just needed some help--and I didn't have the issue before, you know?

I should have known by the fact that he asked me if this was "really about my disorder, or if was really because..." I was "22" (actually, I was NOT 22 at all... but whatever) that he was NOT a good guy. I should have also realized this when he asked me how I could have 'possibly finished college with this issue.' ... yikes, I let him get away with so much of that crap, almost exclusively because I hated how my disability was affecting me--and I let the insults land because I beat myself up, what's another insult, right? I SO wish I hadn't let him get away with that now.

However, I didn't get paper involve. I should have gotten paper involved right there. Made him sign something - so that I would have simple evidence of that meeting.

Instead of an understanding, honest person who cared about his employees, my bossed turned into a passive-aggressive monster who chronically punished me for other people's mistakes, not even talking to me about the issues, nor communicating with me about conflicts--he just assumed his perceptions were right. These all start right after I told him about the possible need for an accommodation. Despite the fact that the other issues I had at work were all relatively minor (such as 'sounding harsh' or 'seeming uninterested', both of which were easily fixed once I knew that was an impression I was given---I was just trying to be to the point, you know?), the on-time thing was apparently the worse, most horrific thing on the books. The fact that it was due to disability didn't matter--he told me he "wouldn't tolerate my lateness anymore." When I told him that my lateness was due to a disability that he has known about for at least six months, a disability that cannot be cured and a disability for which I am currently treated -- he told me 'no one could make him tolerate my lateness.' He claimed it "demoralized" the other employees. What the heck does that even mean? Me being 10 minutes late in the morning is "demoralizing?" If that is true for anyone, perhaps they have other issues they need to deal with, right?

2. When you request an accommodation, get the other person to sign, mark, or otherwise indicate a response to it in writing.

When I presented my formal accommodation request, which included flexible scheduling (if I come in 10 minutes late, I stay 10 minutes late, etc.) and 5-minute breaks for walking, my boss said that 'walking seemed a good idea' and refused to respond RE: the scheduling. His follow-up e-mail stated that I needed a "schedule you can stick to" ...meaning that he was unwilling to give me flexible scheduling -- he wanted to move my scheduling.

Moving my scheduling would result in a reduction of hours, and chances are a reduction of position, too. He wanted to move my hours to afternoon-only, and from 6 hours a day to 4 hours a day. This is totally ridiculous, since I am perfectly capable of working 6 hour days, I just need flexibility in my schedule. He refused and told me that it was 'unfair' to grant me this because of the other employees. I don't see how this works, since my request was due to disability.

While I do have ample evidence of his rejection of my request, my 504 violation filing is not as smooth as it should be. I should have had him make a formal rejection of my request, in writing, with his signature.

When I realized that he had in fact been passive aggressively punishing me since I told him I might need an accommodation, (and since he openly lied to me about a lot of other stuff, and when I pointed out to him that he was breaking his promises to me as an employer, he said that he was 'the executive director of the company' and therefore 'wouldn't be the one leaving') I realized he didn't deserve to have me as an employee. I might have narcolepsy, but I am trained in analytical thinking, communications, and have a knack for math, and all and all made huge contributions to his company. If he is so bigotted as to reject me because I need an accommodation (a conclusion I must draw, since there are other employees WHO DO HAVE FLEXIBLE SCHEDULING), I quit my job there. Now I have a far better day job that willingly accommodates my needs, including flexible scheduling, without batting an eye.

3. Seriously, get it in writing. Witnesses and other forms of recording are not as strong. When you file, having a written petition is better than having a date and time for a meeting, and it makes it much easier.

OK, sorry for the mini-rant in there... but I wanted to share...

drago

#15 PamRat

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Posted 17 October 2011 - 08:21 PM

Hi all,
I'm shocked at some of the stories here! I was diagnosed with Narcolepsy at age 45 (after suffering with the symptoms since I was a teenager). I'm now about to turn 59! I've been lucky with my employers since being diagnosed as they have mostly been very understanding and the type of work I do (Executive Assistant) hasn't been adversely affected. I am allowed a later start time which is a win-win for all concerned in my opinion. I do have my own office but choose not to take any power naps - I don't know how that would go over at work but as long as I take my 2x/day Ritalin dose I'm fine. The only time I sometimes have difficulty is staying awake when taking minutes in an all day meeting! In my current job I did inform my employer when I started that I had Narcolepsy and required the flexibility around my start time which they were fine with. Now that I'm getting older I'm wondering if the symptoms may be getting worse. I recently gave my boss a book on Narcolepsy so she could be better informed on the disorder - that was at least a month ago and the book is still sitting in the same place on the desk that she tossed it to! She is an example of someone with no empathy or understanding of such things. Hopefully the new boss (slated to start at the beginning of 2012) will be more understanding and I will be very up front with them about my needs.
Good luck all, Posted Image
Pam

#16 Fireyshamrock

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Posted 20 June 2012 - 09:30 AM

So about a year ago I was told to go see a Dr about my sleeping or get a new job ( I fell asleep in a meeting the CEO was presenting in). I was diagnosed with Narcolepsy and was using Provigil & Xyrem for a few months and was going great but then the side effects are awful. I am now off of everything and have to just manage. I don't know what's an inappropriate comment or how to deal with my boss as even when I am asking for time off for a dr app I get "I made it through cancer, you can make it through this" which I can't tell if she's trying to be supportive, or telling me N is no biggie get over it. Either way of her intention the latter is the way I feel when she says it.
My boss has said in my annual review "your doing great with not sleeping at your desk" which even though was said in a a positive sentence made me feel horrible.
I was spoken to about falling asleep in a meeting where I didn't even fall asleep and had to bite my tongue from arguing and yelling at my boss because for a change I wasn't even tired that day!
Is my boss allowed to bring that up to me / make comments like that? How do I approach that issue? I mentioned it to HR but nothing really came of it.
How do I even bring up a reasonable accommodation ie scheduled naps? Half the office is tired at their desk (I work in a "cube farm") so I feel that they would just say "that's what your lunch break is for" (we have an assistant mgr who takes his lunch to nap in his car) which I would be ok with but half the time I am using my lunch to go to a Dr. appointment.
Has anyone had luck with a flexible schedule? I'm curious about how that works out for you.

I should probably mention I work in Corporate IT Sales well New business development to be specific. Just so you know where I am coming from.