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Freshman In High School


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#1 two2kids

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Posted 11 December 2009 - 06:13 PM

My daughter is a freshman in high school. New school, students, teachers...everything and she's had a hard time adjusting. Doesn't want to eat breakfast, was an A student (and passed an interview and test to get into this school) and now she is struggling in class. Doesn't hand in assignments and her participation is low. She is on Provigil which helps a lot but I can't understand the lack of handing in homework. Is she just having a hard time adjusting? She loves the school but now I have to check and make sure her homework is done. Has anyone else had issues with new surroundings??? She was only diagnosed a year ago so it's still all new to us.

#2 Kathleen

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Posted 11 December 2009 - 08:43 PM

I wonder is the work load too much, or is she just being a teenager? If it's the work load, she may be eligible for accommodations. Not only does she have N, but she is a teenager. High School is a big change for anyone! She may need to go through her process.
My experience as a mom is that kids have to test their boundaries. (I am the one with N, not my 19 year old) It's hard as a parent to allow our children to make mistakes. But if we always rescue them they never learn to grow up and take responsibility. I learned the hard way. I held my daughter's hand to get her to graduate, and I should have allowed her to learn to do things on her own in high school. When she went away to college & I wasn't there "checking on her", she flunked out & I lost $10,000. So better learn sooner than later.

Don't get me wrong, if the N is making it hard for her to keep up - then for sure... talk to the school, see if they have any suggestions. Talk to your daughter, let her know that you care and want to help, not nag.
Good luck!

#3 two2kids

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Posted 11 December 2009 - 11:40 PM

I wonder is the work load too much, or is she just being a teenager? If it's the work load, she may be eligible for accommodations. Not only does she have N, but she is a teenager. High School is a big change for anyone! She may need to go through her process.
My experience as a mom is that kids have to test their boundaries. (I am the one with N, not my 19 year old) It's hard as a parent to allow our children to make mistakes. But if we always rescue them they never learn to grow up and take responsibility. I learned the hard way. I held my daughter's hand to get her to graduate, and I should have allowed her to learn to do things on her own in high school. When she went away to college & I wasn't there "checking on her", she flunked out & I lost $10,000. So better learn sooner than later.

Don't get me wrong, if the N is making it hard for her to keep up - then for sure... talk to the school, see if they have any suggestions. Talk to your daughter, let her know that you care and want to help, not nag.
Good luck!


My daughter's name is Kathleen! You are right on all counts. I have rescued her from the bus (50 boys, 4 girls...I now drive her) and she really has no responsibilites. I talked to my husband about it tonight and we both talked to her. I do believe she is testing her boundaries too....she is really a great girl which we are lucky to have. We told her she has to start the new year caught up or she'll go to the huge public school and really be lost. Thanks so much for replying---you made me feel better!

#4 concernedmom

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Posted 14 December 2009 - 01:27 AM

My son is a freshman also. He was diagnosed about 5 years ago. I am having the same lproblems as you. In the past, he has always been a good student. He tested well and was placed in 4 honor classes.
I have no problems with him hating school or waking up. He usually wakes up himself. I was worried about him making friends since only 6 kids from his elementary school went to his high school of 1200 students. I was worried about the bus, since he walked to school for the last 8 years. Everything is going well so far except homework.
Since the first week, he has been playing catch-up. He comes home with at least 3 hours of homework a day, but some is past due. He should use the weekend to complete everything, but he doesn't. Like you, this was never an issue before now. Teachers accept late work from him, and lets him finish tests after school, but that does not lighten his load. I do not want to make excuses for him because he should use the weekends to his advantage. He starts the week behind in work. The TV is off, and he is in the room by himself for hours with books on his lap (sleeping half the time, procrastinating the other half).
If you find out what to do, let me know, I am in the same situation as you: not knowing what is caused by the N and what is caused by being a teenager.

#5 two2kids

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Posted 14 December 2009 - 09:35 PM

My son is a freshman also. He was diagnosed about 5 years ago. I am having the same lproblems as you. In the past, he has always been a good student. He tested well and was placed in 4 honor classes.
I have no problems with him hating school or waking up. He usually wakes up himself. I was worried about him making friends since only 6 kids from his elementary school went to his high school of 1200 students. I was worried about the bus, since he walked to school for the last 8 years. Everything is going well so far except homework.
Since the first week, he has been playing catch-up. He comes home with at least 3 hours of homework a day, but some is past due. He should use the weekend to complete everything, but he doesn't. Like you, this was never an issue before now. Teachers accept late work from him, and lets him finish tests after school, but that does not lighten his load. I do not want to make excuses for him because he should use the weekends to his advantage. He starts the week behind in work. The TV is off, and he is in the room by himself for hours with books on his lap (sleeping half the time, procrastinating the other half).
If you find out what to do, let me know, I am in the same situation as you: not knowing what is caused by the N and what is caused by being a teenager.


I will let you know if anything comes up. I am puzzled by the whole thing!!!...and frustrated! oh boy.....

#6 Mirianda

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Posted 15 December 2009 - 03:56 PM

The good news is: your kids are already Diagnosed. The bad news is: it won't get any easier. But I'll let you know my say in this. I am one of those "good kid" that was good in school and all until my last years of highschool (as I come from Quebec it isn't entirely the same) All my family had big hopes for me until I started failing. I passed my high school diploma anyways and tried to go to Cegep (college) There I failed miserably. And yeah I am a quitter after trying for 3 sessions and failing I Quit and was finaly diagnosed. I know the work load and as a teen it was hard as heck to find the energy (especially that I wasn't diagnosed) to do homework. But I can understand that Teens may not want to bust their little butts to do the homework with the little energy that they have left. I now work full time go to school part time I am diagnosed and also an adult. Even know knowing responsibilities (I payed for my classes) It takes every OUNCES of energy to get me to get off my butt and study and do my homework. I only take one class but work full time. I think that maybe your kids don't want to accept their condition (I was in denial for a long time) and they don't yet know their personal limits.

I know its hard as a teen, I wasn't diagnosed but thinking back I see most of my symptom where there from the age of 15-16. My guess would be Give them support but don't always push them to do it all the time... Or they'll have difficulty to know bu themselves when they have to wake up...

Good luck with that!