Sign in to follow this  
Followers 0
drago

Friend Advice

12 posts in this topic

All right, here we go.

I am presently in an environment where I work with a small, close-knit group of people. Since I work in the theatre, I do things in the office and physical things, including helping the technical directors with minor projects (like painting and puttying). I also am a backstage hand, which often requires me to be ON MY TOES...

The small, close-knit group of people with whom I work also are the base of all my friends in this area. Not having tons of free time (and spending most of that free time sleeping) spells me not having tons of friends from outside work. Those that exist are from college/high school that I keep in touch with and see maybe every week or so.

The trouble is... I don't think they 'get' the whole narcolepsy thing. On top of that, there are some other conflicts (such as head rushes that I've been getting) that are not specifically diagnosed as anything, but are either related to blood pressure, blood sugar, or narcolepsy/the meds I take for it... I just feel really frustrated.

Also... I feel like when I tell people things they don't believe me. When I am falling asleep, please don't shake me awake! It only serves to make me nauseous! And, seriously, if a sleep attack could be abated by being woken up, it would be an embarrassing social problem, not a neurological disorder.

I haven't had problems during the day outside of head rushes and sometimes EDS will sink in while I'm trying to work... but when I hang out with people at night, especially if we're drinking, everyone gets REALLY UPSET if I fall asleep. My falling asleep has nothing to do with the beer!!! It has to do with the Aderall wearing off finally... :-\

Yes, I do tell people about the issues (don't shake me awake, I can't do that right now, etc.) ONLY WHEN I am currently in a sleep attack/having whatever problem... but I don't see it as helpful to state it any other time, you know? I'm just frustrated with people NOT LISTENING TO ME about anything - especially if they're your designated driver at night (not necessarily for drinking, I just don't drive at night now)...

...so, any advice?

drago

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
...so, any advice?

drago

Yes, it's simple, although not entirely easy to accept.

The majority of people in this world do not listen. They just don't. For a myriad of reasons, which I will not get into, but still, most people do not listen well. A good, attentive listener is a rarity.

People don't get a lot of things about others b/c frankly, it's not about them. It doesn't mean they're not friendly or fun; it doesn't mean that you shouldn't be friends with them (although some could use the boot). It merely means you're wasting your energy getting individuals to understand your predicament. A good, compassionate listener is a person who will clearly be understanding and helpful from the get go. You will not have to teach them how to be supportive. I can be (and have been) entirely supportive. compassionate and a good listener with friends who may have had cancer or MS or Crohn's without experiencing the condition myself b/c it's not about me. It's about them.

I'm just saying, you're going to drive yourself into the ground trying to get people to understand what you're going through, so I would recommend that you rely on those you can truly trust, those you have connected with and who do get it and keep quiet about your condition with anyone else. Waiting for understanding from those who are incapable only serves to let you down and leave you frustrated. Some people just don't get it and don't feel too bad, b/c in my experience those types of individuals do not get anyone else's challenges or conditions either, I'm sure it's nothing personal. Bc as I have said: it's not about them.

good luck.

jenji

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hey! Did you read my post about family and them not getting the whole N thing? If people that you care about don't want to understand, then they are not going to, BUT maybe your friends need a little more of a nudge. Most likely there are at least a couple of them that will be understanding if they had a little more prodding.

Overall, people are good and they do want to be there for you. I know a work environment is difficult for PWNs, and if things don't get much better for you, hopefully ranting here will be of help. It is for me. I will be here for you, just the same as everyone else here.

Much love and hugs for you, sweets! :D

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Then again, I just read Jenji's answer. The other side of me agrees: The majority of people in this world do not listen. Give them another chance first, though. We all like 2nd chances, so give them another go.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I agree on the whole second chance thing but if things dont pick up and get better with your friend, then you really should go red Sleepless's other post. I posted my thought for her there and the same would really apply to you if they still insist on not pulling thier heads out of there butt. Having worked in the theatre and music industry before I know there is no bigger clique of "me me me " type of people you know the ones I am talking about....lol.... They will learn or get the boot right!?!?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Haha...

Well, the trouble with people not listening isn't so much them not understanding - I can deal with that. The problem is that people try to shake me awake and try to do things to "help" me, or they'll see me close my eyes for a few minutes and assume I'm sleeping, when I'm just waiting for a head rush to pass. Instead of communicating with me, they just jump right in.

This is especially in a problem at work, when I need to be able to take moments (w/headrushes and such) without being accused of falling asleep... which I haven't done!!! Ugh.

So, that's the problem - it's not just them listening, it's how they're acting...

drago

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Haha...

Well, the trouble with people not listening isn't so much them not understanding - I can deal with that. The problem is that people try to shake me awake and try to do things to "help" me, or they'll see me close my eyes for a few minutes and assume I'm sleeping, when I'm just waiting for a head rush to pass. Instead of communicating with me, they just jump right in.

This is especially in a problem at work, when I need to be able to take moments (w/headrushes and such) without being accused of falling asleep... which I haven't done!!! Ugh.

So, that's the problem - it's not just them listening, it's how they're acting...

drago

Just tell them that any under circumstances you should not be shaken awake or anything like that; unless you have a smoking red flame in your hand, you should be left alone. That'll be a definitive request and if it's not the end of it, then they are not listening to you and either will not, do not or cannot understand.

jenji

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Put a sign next to you that says "Do not shake!"? I dunno.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

How about a t-shirt that reads:

Do Not Disturb!

and on the back it can say:

b/c if you wake me up I'm gonna beat your ass once I'm up.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Sounds like you got a good guy :)

and about the going out and being tired. im still af an of sarcasm "HELLLLLLLLOOOOOOOOOOOOO you are friends with a narcoleptic wtf do you think will happen???" or "ok how long have you known me? who is the dumb one? the narcoleptic who gets tired, or the person who's known them for ____ long who STILL asks fn questions/is surprised about it??????????"

ROTFL That is so true.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!


Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.


Sign In Now
Sign in to follow this  
Followers 0