When I come home from school my roommates are usually hanging out watching TV, and I'm too sleepy to be sociable and I go fiddle around on my computer for half an hour or so and the take a nap for an hour or more. I go to bed early, or I 'retire' to my room early because I am sleepy and ready to go to bed. And I know I'm missing out on alot, not just hanging out but interesting things I could be doing. I could be going to the Rec center at my school and working out and meeting people. I could be drawing or doing art. I could be out exploring or what not, finding cool stuff to do, but instead I'm sleeping.
The other day I got stuck at one of my buildings after a particularly hectic morning of me hiking all over campus with few times for breaks. I stopped on a random floor of one of my school buildings to use the loo, and they had a sitting area outside of a big lecture hall, so I sat down and stayed there for almost two hours! I played Sudoku and listened to other people talk.
Like as if I were a ghost, a very tired ghost.
My body isn't physically tired, not usually, its mostly my mind. It blurs over. This is my second source of isolation because I can't think of things to say to people, or anything to contribute in class, and where normally I'm pretty witty I end up being totally dumb.
I have already started the process of volunteering at the local shelter (both with just the animals and then also with people), I'm going to join a hiking club (they go out every weekend and its non-commital), and maybe a volunteer organization. If I didn't have Narcolepsy I'd have a volunteer job that I did in all my free time, and I'd probably take five classes instead of four, and I'd sleep 8 hours a night if I felt like it and never take another nap! I'm 23. What do I do? I need more than the power of positive thinking, I need a shock collar or something!
I'm not whiny or depressed about this, if it sounds like that I'm sorry its like 11 and time for bed.