My Husband/wife Is Broken!
Posted 08 August 2008 - 11:20 AM
If you are the supporting spouse of someone with N, please note the isn't being addressed directly at you, but hopefully you'll get the point I'm making. I apologize ahead of time, if it applies.
I get a lot of the same questions from some un-named people who apperently join the community only to ask one question..."My husband/wife is broken, how can I fix him/her?"
Let me break it down...
"All he/she wants to do is sleep all the time"
He/she is narcoleptic...it's what we do. Leave us alone. Let us sleep.
"All he/she does is stay up all night"
Ever think about staying up with them, instead of selfishly sleeping ALL NIGHT!?
It's a sleep disorder with many quirks...don't make it any more difficult.
"He/she never goes to bed when I do. Does this mean he/she doesn't love me?"
Here's a good chance to answer that question yourself...Next weekend, just lay in bed on a Saturday morning...Go ahead. If your blessed enough to have your narcoleptic spouse sleeping next to you, all the better.
Now...when you've slept as much as possible, get up out of bed...
Did you lose all the love for your spouse when you got up?
If we could control it, we would. Because we don't go to bed when you do doesn't mean we don't love you, nor does it mean something is wrong. It generally means we're not in the mood to spend time when our brain IS awake doing nothing but being horizontal.
"I can't get him/her to take his/her medicine on time!"
Yeah...your right. Sucks, don't it?
"He/She can't seem to keep a job"
If they are not drinking...if there aren't any illegal drugs in action, consider that he/she that there may be more in play here. While this may seem obvious, It needs to be said...
-NEVER take a "What the hell is wrong with you?" point of view. If you do, your an idiot.
-ALWAYS remember no form of employment is as important as your relationship
Please consider a long-term quest to find the perfect employment.
If drinking and drugs ARE involved, stop complaining and do something. See a doctor. See a therapist. Go to meetings. Don't blame narcolepsy for drug and/or alcohol abuse. It's never been a symptom of narcolepsy.
Usually drugs and alcohol abuse is a sign of depression. Maybe consider what is depressing in your relationship while your getting help.
From what I have learned by talking to other narcoleptics like myself, we HATE being treated like children. We're not. We're adults with a condition. You are more than welcome to help us..PLEASE DO! You don't need to change us. You don't ever need to make us feel like a lesser person.
If you can't be supportive, leave us alone. We have enough of that in our daily lives.
Thanks for reading.
Posted 08 August 2008 - 12:00 PM
I wonder if doing all that but not the dishes, vacuuming and weeding the flowerbeds, I have been "assigned" to today, will be considered lazy?
Maybe I will get grounded again who knows. Funny How I cant make the rules in my own freaking house.
I'm about fed up with this crap for real.
Posted 09 August 2008 - 03:22 AM
Posted 13 September 2008 - 10:52 AM