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#101 Rob

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Posted 14 January 2010 - 09:16 AM

thats sucks. but you need to stay positive!! when i went to see my on base doctor he told me that more than likely i would be medically separated from the air force. he also said that one of the things that pulls alot of weight in the MEB is my commanders letter that he writes stating if i'm a valued asset to his squadron or not. the problem is my commander and first shirt don't know me and have never met me before becuz they were put in that position while i was volunteering as an instructor for another squadron. and in my opinion more than likely his letter that he has to write is gonna be put on a deadline and the only way for my commander to get to know me quick and learn my history is to look in my Personal Information File (PIF) and i will tell you right now it is full of letter of reprimand for being late to work becuz of over sleeping. so i already know what the commander is gonna say in his letter and i know what the board is gonna say. but I'm not gonna lose any sleep over it. lolPosted Image i have accepted the fact that what is happening in my life right now i have pretty much no control over and i'm just gonna sit back and enjoy life as much as i can and just roll with the punches.



#102 Mirianda

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Posted 14 January 2010 - 09:34 AM

I could try to get in the government but then... my job will probably be boring but safe! I want excitement! Gosh I wish I could move to Montreal for 3years take the glass blowing class and start my business (and sleep when I must hahaha) Seems so far (and Montreal is SO expensive I could never make it financially and my body can't take 2 jobs I have difficulty keeping one!) So for now I will continue accounting classes but from home.

#103 Mirianda

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Posted 15 January 2010 - 10:51 AM

Well Bad news :( I didn't get the job... Oh well! They said they wanted someone with more experiance but they told me (like a consalation prize) if it doesn't work out well we are keeping your file... (yeah of course... whatever I'm sure you hope it doesn't work out -_-'' ) Anyways... Now my second battle is going back to school... But ... In Canada we have something called a "cote R" its a percentage that counts ALL of your classes... In my case, I had quit a lot of my classes because I was falling asleep but AFTER the date that you could drop the class without being an F... So I'm asking the government if they would allow me (since I am now diagnosed and those grades don't represent the reality of what I can do) to erase ALL of my grades (goodbye 94% in history) and start it over with a "clean" slate... I don't think it will work But I am trying! I would try to do what we call here a "technique of civil engineering" its a 3 year program. This would be the result: Civil Engeneering So I am fighting right now! hahah I'm more stubborn than a mule and don't take no easily as an answer :P

#104 vidar

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Posted 17 January 2010 - 06:11 PM

It's kind of odd that alot of the people posting here seem to have either a military or healthcare background. Just an observation. Oh, I'm a medical student (M-2), lol. So I pretty much learn about stuff, and complain about how school sucks (yes I knew it would suck ahead of time... but I'm a glutton for punishment and didn't have anything better to do with my time).

#105 Mirianda

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Posted 20 January 2010 - 10:09 AM

OMG what do you do when you hear your boss doing an interview for your job!! I mean my job has no place for a second person and I know I am on a contract and it has been extended and they can't keep a full time excutive assistant but sheesh! Can't they be a little discret or something! I hope my employment agency knows it... I am totally freaking out finding a job is so hard! :( I don't know what to do!

#106 Alisha

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Posted 25 January 2010 - 11:18 PM

I am a first-year teacher. I'm currently teaching in a disaster of a school that is closing at the end of the year. It's middle school in an urban district. On top of that, I'm supposed to be a French teacher, but I only have one class (of 4 students) that is French. The rest are the same life skills class which is ridiculous.

I'm struggling, and I'm wondering if I could do this even if I weren't a newbie in a bad situation.

Looking back (before I was diagnosed win N), I think I had the most balance in my life when I worked 2nd shift customer service (business to business). It was slow, I could take naps and just wake up when the phone was ringing if I had to. The gym the job provided was open 24 hours and was about 7 minutes from my job and 7 minutes from home. I used to go there and workout and train after work and then go home. I could sleep late if I needed to since I didn't work until 3pm. Work was slow, so I could work in my knitting hobby or otherwise surf the web except for some social networking sites. I even managed to take a class or two on campus while working because I could go during the day. It was low-paying, but I got by. My mind tells me that I can handle what I have going on now and I left that old job because I felt like I could do better, but if only I had realized my issues with sleeping were N and not just laziness. Oh, how I miss that job now.......

Here's what I realize: I can be an awesome teacher, but it comes at the cost of a non-existent home life and slacking on my grading/planning....and complete misery as of right now. Is it worth it for the somewhat decent money? Hmm...

#107 jenji

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Posted 26 January 2010 - 12:00 AM

Daydream Believer,

I totally get what you're describing. When I was an undergrad I to put in twice as much work to get the my good grades because my ability to retain information had greatly deteriorated over the years due to my N. Of course, like you, I didn't know I had N until after I graduated and was properly diagnosed. Honestly, I don't know how I made it through, but I guess I just didn't know any other way or state of being so to speak. Anyway, I used to study all night long in my dreams. I would study say throughout the day and evening for an especially difficult exam and then find myself literally going over my notes, as well as the text while in bed dreaming; in fact, I would quiz myself. I mean, I know that during certain stages of sleep the brain will consolidate information, however this was literally rehearsing and figuring practice theories out. Trippy.

I'm also trying to finish a Master's Degree, but I had to take a leave of absence this semester because my body just literally gave out trying to pull off that pace. Undergrad was busy, very busy and by the end of my four years I was so spent. I just didn't seem to recharge enough in the interim between undergrad and grad so as to successfully tackle Grad classes and teaching at the same time. And if I can't teach a class, then I can't retain my scholarship, so I'm really screwed funding wise. The reason I busted my ass so hard in undergrad (double major) was so that I could stand out and receive a full scholarship to grad school. And my plan succeeded and rightly so!

But now, I don't know, when the caveat to a scholarship, which by the way was reportedly "based upon my academic merit and carried no service requirement," is: no teaching, no scholarship--well, then they should just call it funding and not a scholarship. I loved the teaching too--it's what I want to do-- it was one of the best experiences of my life aside from the physical suffering I had to navigate: 3 weeks in, my cataplexy hit me full force (I also have other autoimmune issues). Not pretty. Just an all round shame. My semester ended in the middle of December (I finished out my teaching responsibilities so as to retain the experience for my resume and took "I" in my 3 classes, however despite this, mentally I was doing well and thinking positive at first, that I would work things out, find a way, but now I'm really just feeling overwhelmingly discouraged. It's like Alisha said, I don't know if it's worth it either. I'm trying to obtain my Master's so that I can teach, as the hours are not the traditional 8-5, M-F scenario. With a Master's I could teach in my field (film production) at the university level and therein work (be in the building) only 2-3 days/week tops. However, simply teaching 2 days a week proved too much for me these days. Trying to assimilate into and function within a traditional society, into a society of normal functioning with an abnormal functioning body is starting to feel insurmountable and if not that, probably not even worth it, as I would have no energy, aside from working, to function and care for myself, let alone carry on a social life whatsoever. This is not a life.

I feel stuck. And for those of you who are familiar with me from NN you all know I'm not one who feels easily defeated and/or cheated; I'm always the first to say to myself: things could always be worse, dust yourself off, work with what you have-- but I have to say, I'm feeling very frustrated and dare I say resentful for how difficult it has been to carry on with my conditions over the past 15 years. I've worked so very hard to get this far and now....I dunno, I just can't seem to find the light.
I guess I'm just tired and weary.
Apologies for the vent and thanks for listening.

jenji

#108 Day Dream Believer

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Posted 26 January 2010 - 12:02 AM

I am a first-year teacher. I'm currently teaching in a disaster of a school that is closing at the end of the year. It's middle school in an urban district. On top of that, I'm supposed to be a French teacher, but I only have one class (of 4 students) that is French. The rest are the same life skills class which is ridiculous.

I'm struggling, and I'm wondering if I could do this even if I weren't a newbie in a bad situation.

Looking back (before I was diagnosed win N), I think I had the most balance in my life when I worked 2nd shift customer service (business to business). It was slow, I could take naps and just wake up when the phone was ringing if I had to. The gym the job provided was open 24 hours and was about 7 minutes from my job and 7 minutes from home. I used to go there and workout and train after work and then go home. I could sleep late if I needed to since I didn't work until 3pm. Work was slow, so I could work in my knitting hobby or otherwise surf the web except for some social networking sites. I even managed to take a class or two on campus while working because I could go during the day. It was low-paying, but I got by. My mind tells me that I can handle what I have going on now and I left that old job because I felt like I could do better, but if only I had realized my issues with sleeping were N and not just laziness. Oh, how I miss that job now.......

Here's what I realize: I can be an awesome teacher, but it comes at the cost of a non-existent home life and slacking on my grading/planning....and complete misery as of right now. Is it worth it for the somewhat decent money? Hmm...


Alisha: I was just sharing with a friend the other day about challenges I face with N and how when things go south (as they will do in life) how that makes it even harder. I had four years when I was med free and then my life started getting very stressful with work and school and I had to go back on the meds. One thing for me was the exercise (which I am not doing right now). I noticed that when I was exercising it made all the difference. I am really telling myself this and also want to encourage you to keep your chin up, you sound like a dedicated teacher. Even though I am not a newbie, I was just reassessed and it was like I heard the diagnosis for the first time all over again. I got a bit depressed about all the limitations and the cause and so on and so on. Then I remembered that I have had N this since I was a teenager and that I did go to college and I did have a son and I did a lot of things even with N. Keep your chin up. You will find your balance. :)

#109 Day Dream Believer

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Posted 26 January 2010 - 12:32 AM

Daydream Believer,

I totally get what you're describing. When I was an undergrad I to put in twice as much work to get the my good grades because my ability to retain information had greatly deteriorated over the years due to my N. Of course, like you, I didn't know I had N until after I graduated and was properly diagnosed. Honestly, I don't know how I made it through, but I guess I just didn't know any other way or state of being so to speak. Anyway, I used to study all night long in my dreams. I would study say throughout the day and evening for an especially difficult exam and then find myself literally going over my notes, as well as the text while in bed dreaming; in fact, I would quiz myself. I mean, I know that during certain stages of sleep the brain will consolidate information, however this was literally rehearsing and figuring practice theories out. Trippy.

I'm also trying to finish a Master's Degree, but I had to take a leave of absence this semester because my body just literally gave out trying to pull off that pace. Undergrad was busy, very busy and by the end of my four years I was so spent. I just didn't seem to recharge enough in the interim between undergrad and grad so as to successfully tackle Grad classes and teaching at the same time. And if I can't teach a class, then I can't retain my scholarship, so I'm really screwed funding wise. The reason I busted my ass so hard in undergrad (double major) was so that I could stand out and receive a full scholarship to grad school. And my plan succeeded and rightly so!

But now, I don't know, when the caveat to a scholarship, which by the way was reportedly "based upon my academic merit and carried no service requirement," is: no teaching, no scholarship--well, then they should just call it funding and not a scholarship. I loved the teaching too--it's what I want to do-- it was one of the best experiences of my life aside from the physical suffering I had to navigate: 3 weeks in, my cataplexy hit me full force (I also have other autoimmune issues). Not pretty. Just an all round shame. My semester ended in the middle of December (I finished out my teaching responsibilities so as to retain the experience for my resume and took "I" in my 3 classes, however despite this, mentally I was doing well and thinking positive at first, that I would work things out, find a way, but now I'm really just feeling overwhelmingly discouraged. It's like Alisha said, I don't know if it's worth it either. I'm trying to obtain my Master's so that I can teach, as the hours are not the traditional 8-5, M-F scenario. With a Master's I could teach in my field (film production) at the university level and therein work (be in the building) only 2-3 days/week tops. However, simply teaching 2 days a week proved too much for me these days. Trying to assimilate into and function within a traditional society, into a society of normal functioning with an abnormal functioning body is starting to feel insurmountable and if not that, probably not even worth it, as I would have no energy, aside from working, to function and care for myself, let alone carry on a social life whatsoever. This is not a life.

I feel stuck. And for those of you who are familiar with me from NN you all know I'm not one who feels easily defeated and/or cheated; I'm always the first to say to myself: things could always be worse, dust yourself off, work with what you have-- but I have to say, I'm feeling very frustrated and dare I say resentful for how difficult it has been to carry on with my conditions over the past 15 years. I've worked so very hard to get this far and now....I dunno, I just can't seem to find the light.
I guess I'm just tired and weary.
Apologies for the vent and thanks for listening.

jenji

Jenji:
Oh I am so sorry you are feeling this way right now and there is no need to apologize Jenji, we get it. Like I was just saying to Alisha, I have been feeling depressed when I think about what N robs me of. Sometimes I think if only I could sleep for a week, I would feel better. But...like you say we have an abnormal functioning body and that feels like swimming against the tide some days. If I keep on this metaphor: even surfers have to wait until the energy comes back to ride the wave again. My wish for you is that you will find your wave and your light. I sure relate Jenji, it has taken me years to get where I am at too. I think it feels so overwhelmingly discouraged because other people don't get this...what this is like. Thanks for sharing and I hope you can get the rest you need to recharge and ride that wave when you are ready. I am so impressed with your vocation. Are you planning on doing a movie some day? My guess is you are not short on creativity and imagination!!

#110 Day Dream Believer

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Posted 05 March 2010 - 01:51 AM

I'm a clinical psychologist (Ph.D.). I work at a hospital and at an outpatient clinic. I also have a small private practice. I do mostly diagnostic work and some treatment.


Hi Narcshark

It is very encouraging to me that you have your Phd. My professor asked me if I was considering perusing a doctorate in psychology as she was evidently impressed with my research. I love the field of psychology and really can not wait to be finished my masters. I have been afraid to tell my employer about N and just wonder if you have good support at work or do you keep it to yourself?

#111 mainmchnc

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Posted 02 April 2010 - 09:24 AM

Currently,
I am in the US Army, I was Just diagnosed. 27yrs old, I'm on Prozak and Amphetamines. I take Naps when I can, and get yelled at when I'm not supposed to ~.O lol
I go in next week to see if they will kick me out for N. My "attacks" are getting worse, before I was just tired, now they hit and its good night world... Doctors say mine is stress induced...
even on the pills if I sit still for a little while, Night *waves bye* lol

63BH8 < Wheeled Vehicle Mechanic / Recovery (tow truck)

2 tours in Iraq (27months)
Army Strong

#112 narcshark

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Posted 11 May 2010 - 02:45 AM

Hi Narcshark

It is very encouraging to me that you have your Phd. My professor asked me if I was considering perusing a doctorate in psychology as she was evidently impressed with my research. I love the field of psychology and really can not wait to be finished my masters. I have been afraid to tell my employer about N and just wonder if you have good support at work or do you keep it to yourself?


Hi DayDreamBeliever,

Sorry it has taken so long for me to post...I have been away from the website for awhile but I'm glad to be back. As to your question, yes, I am "out" at work about my N. I don't think everyone knows, but certainly I have told my boss/supervisor, my close colleagues, and my secretaries. They are all quite supportive and helpful. I chose to come out about it primarily because I was concerned about the impact of my automatic behavior, and I felt it was better to tell people what was going on rather than have them think I was careless or impaired or something. It has also been good because now when I feel a sleep attack coming on I can be honest about it, whereas in the past I used to make up excuses (to get out of the situation to go and sleep) and that didn't feel right. I am not "out" about my N with patients....I just think that would be putting my issues into their time. Good luck with your career, and if you have any questions about going for your doctorate with N, please feel free to send me a message (there is a way to do it through this website). Take care!

#113 Day Dream Believer

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Posted 11 May 2010 - 07:27 AM

Hi DayDreamBeliever,

Sorry it has taken so long for me to post...I have been away from the website for awhile but I'm glad to be back. As to your question, yes, I am "out" at work about my N. I don't think everyone knows, but certainly I have told my boss/supervisor, my close colleagues, and my secretaries. They are all quite supportive and helpful. I chose to come out about it primarily because I was concerned about the impact of my automatic behavior, and I felt it was better to tell people what was going on rather than have them think I was careless or impaired or something. It has also been good because now when I feel a sleep attack coming on I can be honest about it, whereas in the past I used to make up excuses (to get out of the situation to go and sleep) and that didn't feel right. I am not "out" about my N with patients....I just think that would be putting my issues into their time. Good luck with your career, and if you have any questions about going for your doctorate with N, please feel free to send me a message (there is a way to do it through this website). Take care!



Hi Narcshark;
Thanks Narcshark for getting back to me. It is really really encouraging to know other who have been down the path, it is very encouraging! Take care

#114 Wedge

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Posted 11 May 2010 - 09:52 AM

I have been in the Air Force for 8 years (2 years active and 6 in the guard), just got my undergrad in philosophy and am now tackling my masters in the same field, and am working part time as an EMT (which allows me to sleep anytime i want as long as there is no call!)


Basically i do a lot... and i take no medications which is starting to take its toll. The amount of money i have spent on caffeine is unbelievable. Provigil worked but my insurance does not cover medications (but i have found out about a nice program that pays for it.) I had to fight for over a year to keep my job in the military.. which we found some crazy loophole in the rules that allows me to stay in... but it is a struggle. I have cataplexy that is triggered by certain kinds of laughter or surprise.. but it never takes place at work which is quite surprising due to the exciting conditions i work in at times.


I would really like to communicate with some of the members who are currently or have received a graduate degree in school while having narcolepsy. I know it can be done but i can not keep up with the pace my colleagues can pull off. It is frustrating because i know i have the same level of talent and reasoning they do. Perhaps i need to master my dreams to the point where i can sit down and study? :).

#115 narcshark

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Posted 11 May 2010 - 06:12 PM

I have been in the Air Force for 8 years (2 years active and 6 in the guard), just got my undergrad in philosophy and am now tackling my masters in the same field, and am working part time as an EMT (which allows me to sleep anytime i want as long as there is no call!)


Basically i do a lot... and i take no medications which is starting to take its toll. The amount of money i have spent on caffeine is unbelievable. Provigil worked but my insurance does not cover medications (but i have found out about a nice program that pays for it.) I had to fight for over a year to keep my job in the military.. which we found some crazy loophole in the rules that allows me to stay in... but it is a struggle. I have cataplexy that is triggered by certain kinds of laughter or surprise.. but it never takes place at work which is quite surprising due to the exciting conditions i work in at times.


I would really like to communicate with some of the members who are currently or have received a graduate degree in school while having narcolepsy. I know it can be done but i can not keep up with the pace my colleagues can pull off. It is frustrating because i know i have the same level of talent and reasoning they do. Perhaps i need to master my dreams to the point where i can sit down and study? :).


Hi,
I think that you are at a great advantage, doing your graduate work while being aware of your diagnosis. Unfortunately, I wasn't diagnosed until I was 10+ years post-doc. I can remember falling asleep in class on a daily basis, being accused (by some of my peers) of being alcoholic (I didn't even drink! It was because I was always falling asleep in class or coming in late due to oversleeping), and being passed over for some honors/teaching assistant positions because of my constant sleepiness. I can also remember the automatic behavior causing me some grief on a few occasions, and a colleague of mine accusing me of being on drugs because I missed 2 consecutive early morning appointments with his wife, a dental hygienist (for teeth cleanings). I also recall constantly fantasizing about sleeping, even when I was marginally awake. My coping skill (if you can call it that) was that I had a camping style sleeping cot that I kept in my office on campus, and I would retreat there to nap whenever possible. I coped by napping a lot, since I wasn't on meds at the time. I studied in sprints...such as working for 8-10 hours then crashing into sleep-land for the weekend. I was also very careful to select research projects that were manageable for me. I had peers who were insistent upon creating their lifetime masterpieces for their thesis/dissertation...instead I chose a meaningful but manageable project each time and this proved to be wise. I also think that choosing a thesis or dissertation committee that gets along with each other (i.e. no professors who want to "out do" each other) was important in making my own academic journey manageable. Another tip is to try and partner up with a peer who complements your weaker areas. For example, I was always good at writing, while my peer was always good at the statistical analyses...we mentored each other in these areas and that made a huge difference. Another thought is to try not to get too overwhelmed. When you are doing your graduate work there are points in time where it all seems insurmountable. At these times, it really helped to just try and figure out "what do I need to get done today (or in the next 30 minutes)" and just leave it at that, rather than thinking about the big picture. One final thought is that it really helps to simplify your life as much as possible. I had to choose between a lot of hobbies/recreational events and naps, and the naps won. This wasn't a bad thing, just an efficient thing. It's important to take care of yourself, and of course for those of us with N, napping is taking care of ourselves.
On a positive note, please know that because you are diagnosed, you have this great gift of understanding what is going on and being able to explain it to others (when you feel they are ready to hear it). I think that most graduate programs offer an affordable student insurance, so hopefully medications can be part of your plan too. I hope this helps...and of course, it is only my opinion. :)

#116 Day Dream Believer

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Posted 11 May 2010 - 10:31 PM

I have been in the Air Force for 8 years (2 years active and 6 in the guard), just got my undergrad in philosophy and am now tackling my masters in the same field, and am working part time as an EMT (which allows me to sleep anytime i want as long as there is no call!)


Basically i do a lot... and i take no medications which is starting to take its toll. The amount of money i have spent on caffeine is unbelievable. Provigil worked but my insurance does not cover medications (but i have found out about a nice program that pays for it.) I had to fight for over a year to keep my job in the military.. which we found some crazy loophole in the rules that allows me to stay in... but it is a struggle. I have cataplexy that is triggered by certain kinds of laughter or surprise.. but it never takes place at work which is quite surprising due to the exciting conditions i work in at times.


I would really like to communicate with some of the members who are currently or have received a graduate degree in school while having narcolepsy. I know it can be done but i can not keep up with the pace my colleagues can pull off. It is frustrating because i know i have the same level of talent and reasoning they do. Perhaps i need to master my dreams to the point where i can sit down and study? :).


Hey Wedge:
You won't believe this but I was thinking a few months back that if this transition between sleep and wake is blurry for us Ns, then why don't we just master our dreams. I find that I am a sprinter in that I can work very intensely for a few days and then need to completely back off just to recoup my energy. I think we should start a forum for post graduates to share study habits, frustrations and other musings that happen when book ridden. What do you think? By the way...you are smart and you can and will do it. Just put one foot in front of the next and don't think too much about the work ahead and it will take shape. Rest if you must but do not , no never quit!!!

#117 Wedge

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Posted 12 May 2010 - 03:44 PM

Hey Wedge:
You won't believe this but I was thinking a few months back that if this transition between sleep and wake is blurry for us Ns, then why don't we just master our dreams. I find that I am a sprinter in that I can work very intensely for a few days and then need to completely back off just to recoup my energy. I think we should start a forum for post graduates to share study habits, frustrations and other musings that happen when book ridden. What do you think? By the way...you are smart and you can and will do it. Just put one foot in front of the next and don't think too much about the work ahead and it will take shape. Rest if you must but do not , no never quit!!!



I definitely will not be quitting! I put too much time into this and i love it too much to just go away because of a sleep disorder. I REALLY appreciate reading these extremely positive comments from current and post grad students. Thank you both for your honest advice. I actually might try some of the tactics you proposed!

On another note, i agree that there should be a student sub-forum. It is a whole other game out there that can be very demanding for all of us.

#118 Linsang

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Posted 29 June 2010 - 07:28 PM

I too just graduated from college with a degree in engineering. And not to down-play other degrees but engineering ain't a walk in the park so to speak ;) I just completed my MSLT and PSG and will get the official diagnosis next week, however after reading many posts and doing a lot of my own research I really beleive I have N (or at least some sort of related REM sleep disorder). That being said, I can totally relate to how frustrating it can be feeling so exhausted and wrecked all the time. The only way I made it through 4 years of engineering crap was to have next to no social life and basically went to school, did homework, then came home and slept in the afternoon almost through the entire night. I really started to learn who my true friends were when I would fall of the face of the earth for a week or two when my exhaustion was too much to bear (got a lot of crap from people thinking i was exagerating and was being "lame" for not showing up to some event)

I am currently working at a DoD company as an intern but plan to start my PhD program come August in Biomedical Engineering. And Damn it all if I let this fatigue get in the way of me doing what I love! I've felt horrible for so long that I've just learned to deal with it as best I can and keep it together until I can let loose and crash later. Hopefully I can get on some meds to at least allow me to get through the day ok. I feel like I'm pretty realistic about the effects of meds, I don't expect to be able to go out on the weekends and "party" (whatever that means, since I've never done that!) I just want to feel alert during the day and not feel like I'm going to die.

As a slightly unrelated topic, do other people get terrible nausea and feel like they breathe very shallowly when you feel very exhausted? That's what makes the day unbearable, I can handle being tired, but sometimes I feel so tired, I think I'm going to vomit and I feel like I'm breathing like I'm still asleep if that makes any sense. I do have asthma, but taking my meds don't relieve this as it's not a feeling of constriction or inflamation. Just like my breath rate really slows down almost uncontrolably.

Anywho, kinda rambling but it's really nice to find this forum and hear what others have to say, since it gave me hope that I'm not just "broken" that something really is wrong and can be alleviated and there are other people going through this as well.

#119 Day Dream Believer

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Posted 29 June 2010 - 11:13 PM

I too just graduated from college with a degree in engineering. And not to down-play other degrees but engineering ain't a walk in the park so to speak ;) I just completed my MSLT and PSG and will get the official diagnosis next week, however after reading many posts and doing a lot of my own research I really beleive I have N (or at least some sort of related REM sleep disorder). That being said, I can totally relate to how frustrating it can be feeling so exhausted and wrecked all the time. The only way I made it through 4 years of engineering crap was to have next to no social life and basically went to school, did homework, then came home and slept in the afternoon almost through the entire night. I really started to learn who my true friends were when I would fall of the face of the earth for a week or two when my exhaustion was too much to bear (got a lot of crap from people thinking i was exagerating and was being "lame" for not showing up to some event)

I am currently working at a DoD company as an intern but plan to start my PhD program come August in Biomedical Engineering. And Damn it all if I let this fatigue get in the way of me doing what I love! I've felt horrible for so long that I've just learned to deal with it as best I can and keep it together until I can let loose and crash later. Hopefully I can get on some meds to at least allow me to get through the day ok. I feel like I'm pretty realistic about the effects of meds, I don't expect to be able to go out on the weekends and "party" (whatever that means, since I've never done that!) I just want to feel alert during the day and not feel like I'm going to die.

As a slightly unrelated topic, do other people get terrible nausea and feel like they breathe very shallowly when you feel very exhausted? That's what makes the day unbearable, I can handle being tired, but sometimes I feel so tired, I think I'm going to vomit and I feel like I'm breathing like I'm still asleep if that makes any sense. I do have asthma, but taking my meds don't relieve this as it's not a feeling of constriction or inflamation. Just like my breath rate really slows down almost uncontrolably.

Anywho, kinda rambling but it's really nice to find this forum and hear what others have to say, since it gave me hope that I'm not just "broken" that something really is wrong and can be alleviated and there are other people going through this as well.


When sleep attacks were the strongest for me I would feel like there was a ball whirling in my stomach like a centrifuge. I never felt sick to my stomach though, but the sensation was located there. About the breathing, I can't say that I experience that. Congrats on starting your Phd in August. Before I switched to psychology in my undergrad I did three years of sciences as well. I just finished my comprehensive exams and oral exam and am putting the polishing touches on my thesis proposal. Boy can I ever relate to your description of crashing and feeling wrecked. I can go for so long and then I am down for the count. I am sure once you get your diagnosis and all of the specifics of how that affects you, you will be able to plan your life a little better. I think people with N or other REM disorders are pretty innovative and creative. Knowing when to fly and when to stay grounded is, the secret to a balanced life. I myself have not gotten there yet. Good luck on your studies.

#120 narcshark

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Posted 01 July 2010 - 07:54 PM

I, too, get very nauseated when I have not slept adequately. If I have to get up early (which I try not to do) it is almost a sure thing that I will feel sick to my stomach all day and probably get a headache too.....yuck.